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West Ham United

18 Mar, 09 | Tags: General Hammering

This: Jermain.

Means: Definitely.

How: ‘Defo’ is a commonly used abbreviation of ‘definitely’.  When spoken, ‘Defo’ sounds exactly the same as ‘Defoe’.

As in: “Fancy a kickabout this evening?”  “Jermain”.

 

This: Jermain-Keira

Means: Definitely

How: A little development on the above.  ‘Defoe’ gives you ‘Defo’.  The impish vamp Keira provides the ‘Knightley’.  So, say ‘Defoe-Knightley’ and… bingo!

As in: “Fancy tapping that fit one out of Love Actually?”  “Jermain-Keira”.

 

This: Bunts

Means: Money

How: ‘Bunts’, as in Bunsen burner.  Bunsen burner – nice little earner. 

As in: Watch the Office. 

 

This: Nice Elle, bad Oxford

Means: Nice body, bad face.

How: Elle McPherson, commonly referred to as ‘the body’.  Oxford and Cambridge compete in the annual boat race.  Boat race is rhyming slang for face. 

As in: “There’s this new girl at my gym, cracking Elle, shame about the Oxford.”

 

This: Posh’n’Becks

Means: Sex

How: Simple delightful rhyming slang

As in: “I’d love a bit of Posh’n’Becks with that bird in the ticket office. 

 

This: Gary Ablett

Means: Ecstasy

How: ‘Ablett’ rhymes with ‘tablet’, as in ecstasy tablet.  Used by London’s clubbing fraternity.

As in: “Gary Ablett’s are bad, kids.  Very bad.” 

 

This: Geoff Hurst

Means: A top class degree at university

How: ‘Hurst’ rhymes with ‘First’, which is the best degree you can get.

As in: “That geek in my class ended up with a Geoff Hurst and all I got was a poxy Desmond (Tutu-2:2).”

 

This: Jimmy Hill

Means: Bill

How: Come on, it rhymes.

As in: “Oi, Smithy.  Pay the Jimmy for this curry will ya and let’s get outta ‘ere.”

 

This: Nobby Stiles

Means: Piles

How: Again, it rhymes. 

As in: “After that mucky pie on Monday I had a nasty dose of Nobby”. 

 

This: Gianluca Vialli

Means: Cocaine

How: ‘Vialli’ rhymes with ‘Charlie’, a nickname for cocaine. 
As in: “I wonder if Jermain Defoe ever does a bit of Gianluca Vialli?”  “Jermain”.  See what I did there?  It’s all about bringing it all together. 

 

This: Robbie Fowler

Means: Howler

How: You guessed it, it rhymes.

As in: “Ilunga had another Robbie Fowler last night”.

 

This: Robbie

Means: Keen

How: Robbie ‘Keane’ – you can work it out.

As in: “My new boss is well Robbie”.

 

This: Bobby Moore

Means: Score

How: ‘Moore’ rhymes with ‘score’.

As in: “What was the Bobby last time we played this lot?”

 

This: Glenn Hoddle

Means: Something very easy.

How: ‘Hoddle’ rhymes with ‘doddle’, a word used to describe something very easy. 

As in: “I reckon getting tickets for that game will be a Glenn”. 

 

This: Darren Bent

Means: Gay/dodgy.

How: ‘Bent’ is widely used to refer to those of a homosexual persuasion or things which are a bit shnidey. 

As in: “That bloke keeps looking over here, he’s a bit Darren”. 

 

 

Feel free to make your own additions!   


 

 

Newcastle Eagles Editor
Rob McGarr
West Ham Editor

 

West Ham Vital Stats
  • Name: West Ham United FC
  • Nickname: The Hammers
  • Founded: 1895
  • Ground: The Boleyn Ground (Upton Park)
  • Capacity: 35,304
  • Chairman: Mukesh Ambani
  • Manager: Gianfranco Zola
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