Tottenham Hotspur FC

Let's start of by saying most of these guys did a job somewhere otherwise they wouldn't be deemed the best 23 footballers in their country at one time. But for us they were worse than litter.

GK - Casey Keller (USA)
Better than Bobby Mimms but worse than our other International 'keepers.

LB - Ben Thatcher (Wales)
Thug.

CB - Ramon Vega (Switzerland)
Made a scapegoat but wasn't brilliant.

CB - Gary Doherty (Republic of Ireland)
Ginger Pele had nothing on his Brazilian namesake.

RB - Anthony Gardner (England)
Yup for England. Really.

RMF - Ruel Fox (Monserat)
To be fair most of us fancy our chances of playing for Montserrat.

CMF - Kazuyuki Toda (Japan)
This fella has played in World Cups and everything. But so has Robbie Earle.

CMF - Milenko Acimovic (Serbia)
Victim of Hoddle's man management. Brilliant for everyone else he played for. Rubbish for us.

LMF - Andy Sinton (England)
Opposing fans used to sing, "If you can play for England so can I". If only Graham Taylor was listening.

CF - Helder Postiga (Portugal)
Even that goal he scored against England was off his shoulder.

CF - Grzegorz Rasiak (Poland)
His bonce was too big for his body the poor lad, much like a new born baby. Strangley still couldn't head it in the direction he wanted.

Subs
Mbulelo Mabizela (South Africa)
Hossam Ghaly (Egypt)
Goran Bunjevčević (Serbia)

North London natives since 1882, 1919 still not forgiven, Bill Nicholson – best ever, push and run, Greavsie, Gilzean, year ends in one. First British team to lift European trophy, first double winners. Hoddle, Waddle, Chas and Dave, cups, Ossie’s dream, “Is Gasgoine gonna have a crack? He is you know.” Klinsman’s dive, entertainers, decline, love a moan, false dawns, now’s our time, maybe next year, sell best players or walk for free. The Tottenham way.