Tottenham Hotspur FC

I got sent this from a pal who supports another team.

“Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has blasted Premier League players for being too pampered, claiming many players from the top flight would not have survived 20 years ago and need to ‘toughen up’”

Who could Reders possibly mean?

Oh that’s all of them.

I can write without fear of contradiction that this is the greatest video ever made.

The big news this year is the return of a few of our old boys. The moves that made the biggest waves happened at either end of the transfer window as a couple of goal machines have come back to their spiritual home.

Defoe and Keane’s homecoming has notched plenty of column inches and split fans opinion. The naysayers see the acquisitions as a backward move, the people for their return think it won’t take as long for them to settle.

What can history teach us about those who return to Spurs?

First up is a man who stole our hearts, broke them then stole them all over again. When Jurgen the German came back to us we were knee deep in a relegation battle. Sound familiar? He went on to score 9 goals in 15 apps and was largely credited with keeping us up in 1998.

Back in 2001 Spurs Hall Of Famer Edward Paul Sheringham came back to the Lane after his four-year hiatus in Manchester. Teddy was one of Glen Hoddle’s and Daniel Levy’s first signings. A crowd favourite if you will. Sound familiar? He came back to propel us to our best Premier League finish at the time and a cup final scoring 22 goals in two years to boot.

Looking at these examples it bodes well yeah? Well there are differences. Firstly we didn’t buy Teddy and Jurgen at the same time. Secondly if we had it would have been a good thing because of their proven partnership together in their first coming. Keane and Defoe have not always faired so well in the same team.

If Jermaine and Robbie could have the same impact as either of these guys, this January’s bit of business will be seen as a master stroke. If not…

It’s an easy thing to imply after the transfer window but I hope Bendy comes good. Until he joined us he was a feared, accomplished Premier League striker. I don’t see him as ‘a Spurs player’ but he tries hard and made this move with the best intentions. I feel we as a club have let him down as often as he’s let us down in front of goal.

Harry’s words wouldn’t fill me with confidence if I were Darren. The boss said, "If Darren plays as he did on Saturday then he's going to be very important to us." Hardly a ringing endorsement.

The injury to Jermaine Defoe should provide Bent with enough opportunities to prove his worth and secure himself a move to a club better suited to his talents.

It just remains to be seen if the Bent we see is.



Or he can get back to this sort of form.



Go on Dazza prove them wrong.

Robbie’s back. Yup, somehow someway we’ve signed Robbie Keane from Liverpool for £ 5million less than we sold him for.

Now that’s mental.

For the Spurs squad this has to be good news. Keano is one of the players ‘Arry has been saying we lack. Someone with character a bit of drive and prepared to stand up and be counted (sorry I ran out of clichés).

One question. What the Fratton is Jermaine Defoe going to think? The reason he left us in the first place was because he was behind Keane in the pecking order. The reason Keane left the scousers was because he hardly completed a game. Now history is bound to repeat itself.

I don’t care as long as we get closer to the heights we reached when they were both firing for us.

Welcome back Robbie, Jermaine and Pascal, hopefully your second coming will be more successful than David Pleat’s.

Here’s a round up of all the goings on over the last four weeks.

INS: Jermaine Defoe (Portmouth, £15.75m), Wilson Palacios (Wigan, £14m subject to work permit), Carlo Cudicini (free from Chelsea), Pascal Chimbonda (undisc. from Sunderland), Robbie Keane (£15m from Liverpool).

OUTS: Charlie Daniels (free to Leyton Orient), Kevin-Prince Boateng (loan to Borussia Dortmund), Paul Stalteri (free to Borussia Monchengladbach), David Button (loan to Bournemouth), Troy Archibald-Henville (loan to Exeter City), Hossam Ghaly (undisc, Al-Nasr), Cesar Sanchez (free to Valencia).

Who says you can’t go back? Jermaine Defoe’s return home has produced goals, now we’ve invited Pascal back into the fold. He was a solid citizen for us when he played, he’s excellent in the air, a goal threat at times and can put in a cross. Our only problem with him was he’s such a mercenary.

Hopefully his experience at Sunderland has shown him that playing regularly in a team challenging for trophies isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe now he can put his gloves on, role his sleeves up and enjoy it for crying out loud.

Repay our faith Pascy.

What a cracking bit of business. Carlo Cudicini was arguably the best keeper in the league a few years ago. Then the small club in Fulham bought the best goalie in the world and Carlo took a seat. The bloke is exactly what we need at the moment, especially with Gomez injured. As it stands we have the best goalkeeping pairing in the league.

Hopefully this acquisition will make us more solid. If we can get firing up front again we could be ok.

COYS.

Ignore the last post. Harry said he’s going to pick his strongest team now. I must have got through to him.

That’s changed things now we should win 3-0, if we didn’t still have Heurelho Gomes Vedran Corluka, Ledley King, Aaron Lennon, Jermaine Jenas, Darren Bent, Jamie O'Hara and Alan Hutton definitely missing. But at least we’re going to have a go.

COYS

Publicly calling out the players is the gaffer’s way of distancing himself from any future Spurs failings. ‘Arry’s a smart and manipulative man who’s seen it work at Southampton so why not insulate yourself from criticism at Spurs? At the moment he can’t lose, if we go down he can turn around and say “I tried to tell you” if we achieve cup success and stay up it’s Harry Houdini all over again.

We’ve got some quality players who are underperforming so Redder’s should do what he’s paid very well for, COACH. The slating of Bendy’s after his horror miss goes against the ‘arm round the shoulder’ approach Redknapp is famed for. There are many managers who are known for their abrasive style who wouldn’t think of digging their players out like that in public. He doesn’t even know the name of our reserve keeper for crying out loud.

Harry shut your moaning and get the best out of the players. It’s what you were brought in to do.

We’ve been saying our side is unbalanced for years. We’ve been crying out for a left winger, a left back and a defensive midfielder for since Santini got the job. Yet we seem to buy a raft of attacking midfielders of varying quality.

Instead of addressing the areas we need to improve we sack the manager if he doesn’t do as well as expected. But what chance have our previous bosses had when they have to fit square pegs into round holes. Martin Jol has moved on and doing well with Hamburg who are two points off the top in the Bundesliga. Ramos is fairing ok at, let’s face it, a bigger club at Real Madrid.

Yet they failed at Spurs.

The public slating of the players and the transfer policy could be the kick up the arse our club needs. Maybe now we can build a balanced side with the right mix of flair and strength with players operating in their proper positions.

It’s not ‘Arry’s fault, these problems have been apparent for longer than a few months. The blame lies at the feet of the people who chose the players. Rightly Comolli paid with his job, Redknapp doesn’t deserve to.

You know what they say, "If you don't laugh you'd cry". Well I'm crying. Here's a selection of the best/worse Spurs gags going around.

Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.

I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make ‘Tottenham Hotspur Football Club’. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.

Haringey council  has blocked Tottenham’s plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: “We don’t mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it he said SPURS were rubbish recently.
Britsh intelligence dissmissed it saying: ''That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years.

Hilarious, nice one.

Post some of your own in the comments but be sure to leave your address and when you'll be home on your own so I can 'thank' personally. See you in hospital.

I got this apparently true story from a so called mate.
 
I was in the pub Saturday night and next to me was a guy with the sweetest looking dog imaginable.

When the Tottenham score was read out on TV this dog went berserk. It started growling and barking, even tried to bite a couple of people nearby.

I said "Bloody hell mate what's that all about? " He replied, "Oh he does that everytime Tottenham lose"

I said "Well what happens when they win?"

He replied " Corluka knows, I've only had him 6 months!"

Hilarious. The Perrier nomination is in the post.

The wee-uns play tonight with the big boys on show tomorrow. All the talk has been about J Tell getting the armband but spare a thought for Gabby Agbonlahor. The lad got a 'trick at the weekend but didn't get a call up. Maybe Ivanhoe Heskey's contribution outshone him. But even worse than that he won't even start for the Under 21s. Now that is harsh, especially as Frazier Campbell got the nod ahead of him. I couldn't work out if Fergie's fledgling looked more like Faiser Crane or Naomi Campbell on Sunday. 

Ho hum, at the end of the day it's not our problem.

All I care about is how will 'The Hudd' get on?

North London natives since 1882, 1919 still not forgiven, Bill Nicholson – best ever, push and run, Greavsie, Gilzean, year ends in one. First British team to lift European trophy, first double winners. Hoddle, Waddle, Chas and Dave, cups, Ossie’s dream, “Is Gasgoine gonna have a crack? He is you know.” Klinsman’s dive, entertainers, decline, love a moan, false dawns, now’s our time, maybe next year, sell best players or walk for free. The Tottenham way.

Can any of you help me work out Roman Pavlyuchenko? Non Spurs fan pals of mine refer to him as Pile-of-wanko, I call him the lump, he doesn’t win headers, has an awful fist touch and the turning circle of northern Cyprus. But the bloke scores goals, like loads.

The Russian is just ridiculous in front of goal, sometimes. As much as I’d like to I can’t complain the bloke’s scored 10 goals since he signed. Another good sign is Luka is totally justifying ‘Arry’ plan to build the team around him. His third goal in four games the wee man is really looking the business which is another reason we have to improve. If we lose him in 18 months because we’re rubbish I’m going to smash the place up.

Talking of crowd reactions you’ve got to feel for Hossam Ghaly. Booed of before he got he won’t play for Spurs again. What he did with the shirt was unthinkable but he’s only young and the sort of player we could do with in the squad. He’s brave scores the odd goal and has potential to improve. Shame really, personally I wish him well but I could be in the minority.