Tottenham Hotspur FC

The word on the street is that the interlopers from up the road are having a few internal struggles. In an attempt to deflect attention from his piss poor captaincy Billy Gallas spilt the beans claiming that players are being disrespectful when he confronts them. "I am trying to defend myself a bit without giving names. Otherwise I'm taking it all (the blame). It's very frustrating"

We say diddums. Best of all it nearly went off at half time when the scummers played us. "There was a problem at halftime. The only thing that I could say at halftime was 'Guys, we resolve these problems after the match, not at halftime." You can imagine how they felt at full time.

Check out my artists impression of how this info came to light.

Honorary Hotspur Jimmy Bullard just keeps going up and up in my estimations. A few months ago I posted a chant that the Fulham fans sing to the Maggie Thatcher impersonator.

Jim Bullard Bullard
He’s better than Steve Gerrard
And Thinner than Frank Lampard
Jim Bullard Bullard

Jimmy’s response is so good that I stole it from the quotes section of another website to bring to you.

Take it away Maggie.

"It's a blinding song but only half of it is correct. I'm not sure I'm better than Steven but I'm definitely thinner than Frank"

Legend.

Saying "go on, go on go on, go on" has never really been commentary but the portly Spurs chap is my hero. His reactions mirrored mine exactly on the night.

I'll never get tired of watching this.

Luka Modric is out for a fortnight with a partially torn groin muscle. Obviously this is a massive shame as in the last couple of weeks Modric had been shaping up as our best player.

An MRI scan revealed the extent of the injury which forced the footballing genius in a little girls body off at half-time in our defeat by Fulham at the weekend.

We’re going to miss him for the Blackburn and Everton games plus the Uefa Cup tie away to NEC Nijmegen. Which is an arse as all the games are important, but let’s keep them crossed that this is a blessing in disguise allowing someone to step up and make a name for themselves.
If someone can emerge from the squad and make a real play for Modric’s position in the team then groovy. This could be a chance for Adel Taarabt to force his way back into the reckoning or united striker to get himself pushed up the pecking order.

THe one lad you feel for is Giovani dos Santos who'll be coming back from his own inury around the time Modirc does. Shame really because we haven't seen the best of him yet. Let's hope he doesn't get itchy feet and sticks with us for a while.

Whoever gets the nod I hope they take their opportunity.

The draw for the quarter finals of the League Cup were made last week and it completely slipped under my radar. We’re playing Watford.

The good news is we don’t have to play a Premier League team. The bad news is we’re away from home. But despite generally being smelly hairy bollocks away from home a trip to vicarage Road should be something our squad can negotiate.

I’m not getting ahead of myself but if we can get passed the Hornets we’ll undoubtably meet a*snal youth in the semi finals. The Woolwich boys have turned a few heads in this competition so far and despite Burnley’s heroics against Chelsea you wouldn’t bet on Arsne’s ankle biters making it into the last four. Providing we get through we’ll be ready for them, hopefully we can put six past them this time.
Here is the draw in full.
Carling Cup quarter-finals draw:
Stoke City v Derby County
Manchester United v Blackburn Rovers
Burnley v Arsenal
Watford v Tottenham Hotspur

And anyone looking for an omen check out what’s perhaps my favourite Hoddle goal against Watford many moons ago when men played football in hotpants.

We’ve sacked off our goalkeeping coach. Which seems a bit harsh. Unless he was telling Gomes to throw it into his own next every 85 minutes I can’t see how Hilario’s current slump is his fault. But that’s why Harry is the boss and I just write blogs about him. Hans Leitert, the bloke on his way out, has only been with us since the summer and the goalie coach is perhaps the last area Redknapp hasn’t got his own man in so I suspect that’s the reason for the change. But this announcement got a lot more press since Gomes’ calamity performances of recent weeks.  

Harry is trying to stand by our No.1 saying, “He's our number one so he's got to do the job - we're relying on him heavily.
"I believe in him and we have to believe in him."

But he doesn’t sound that convincing. The fat we’ve called back Ben Alnwick from his loan spell at Carlisle suggests Harry has lost patience with Gomes, or at least wants to have a look at Alnwick to see if he’s upto the job. Don’t be surprised if he gets a run out against NEC in our UEFA Cup game at the end of the month.
Let’s pray that Hilario plays a blinder against Blackburn at the weekend and turns into the best ‘keeper in the league. I’ve got as much chance of holding onto that slither of hope as Gomes does of holding onto an aerial ball.

Surely he can’t be bad as any of these lot? Can he?

The fairytale is over, for now. Our first loss under ‘Arry and one significant crack has emerged.
Gomes is a clown.

I hoped the kick in the face he got against the ‘pool would have knocked some sense into him but his skills and confidence is at an all time low. ‘Arry tried to give him some support after he threw the opening goal in his own net but you can see he wasn’t happy. We were hardly at the races against Fulham where we have a poor record but once they scored we never looked like getting anything out of the game. All the Tottenham rejects had a good game against their former employees, which tends to happen, but how they can give that goal to Simon Davies is a mystery to me.

Looking at the positives united striker took his goal well and even though I expected more going into the game Fulham are formidable at home already beating the arse at the Cottage this season. In fact this season it seems like everyone who beat us beat a*snal or vice versa.

Thankfully it’s international week and some of the boys who have been at the forefront of our revival are likely to be off with their countries. I just hope that the break will do Gomes good. He can practice catching in his garden and come back the keeper we thought we bought. I bloody hope so our next game is Blackburn at home on Sunday and in Santa Cruz, McCarthy and Roberts they have three strikers who thrive on the aerial challenge so Hilario better be ready.

Check out how bad he was at the weekend.

What a game. Again. We love it when the scousers come to The Lane. Like the chant at halftime went, “Can we play you every week?” We turned the ‘pool over thanks to the united striker and big Pav taking advantage of some comedy defending by the league leaders.

Granted this wasn’t the strongest outfit they could have sent out against us with 10 changes from the reds who went out at the weekend but we hardly had our strongest 11 out with 7 changes of our own. The feel good times are entrenched at WHL at the moment and ‘Arry can do no wrong.

The Spurs that turned up for this game were hungry, sharp in the tackle and showed plenty of quality, which is the Tottenham we sporadically know and always love. We still managed to make it more difficult than it shouldv’e been. At 3-0 up most teams think a game is dead but how many of you were still a bit wary going in at half time? United and City have done us over from the same position and Chelsea and a*snal have com eback from 3-1 down to us before so we’re never out of the woods unless three goals up with seconds remaining.

The performances of Hudd, O’Hara and most impressively Campbell caught the eye but (not so) Hilario’s clown impressions are really beginning to worry. I forgave him his fumbles early in the season thinking that’s what happens if you’re the last line of defensse in a team of shite, but now the rest of the team has picked up and he’s serving up the same shite week in week out. He is going to directly cost us points soon and with nobody to challenge him for a place there is no one to apply pressure. We just hope our mega expensive ‘keeper can start to justify his price tag.

Progress in this competition is looking good with the draw for the QFs in a few days. There are plenty of beatable teams left in the League Cup after
Barnsley’s heroics. If we get through our next tie put all your money on another Spurs – a*snal semi final, it’s tradition.

Look at how good we are.

spurs v reds

And the Spurs go marching on. As a club we’re either sublime or ridiculous and nothing in between, We’ve gone from our worst start to a league ever to the best start by a Spurs manager in donkey’s years.

We turned an inconsistent City over with the most satisfying part being another come from behind result. After little Bob’s opener we didn’t crumble. Traditionally we’re dog poo away from home so to come out on top after going behind is most satisfying. We’ve now got something on our travels after being one down against Chelsea, the arse an the blue mancs. Add our home game against the scousers and we have the look of a team with a bit of grit.

It’s good to see Bendy is still red hot. At the end of the transfer window we were saying he’d have to score as many goals as Keane and Berbs put together because we have no strikers, well he has so far so you can’t say fairer than that. As the form English stricker he has to be a shoe in against Ze Germans at the end of the month.

Personally I just hope he gets more league goals than Nando Torres so I can get some pride and much needed money back from my ill fated bet of last season.

This is how it went down.

Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur

Blimey we’re good. Sometimes. After tonking the scoucers we go and put four past Dinamo Zagreb. Bendy got a hatrick, Hudd scored a peach and Bostock danced his way into the record books. We really do look a bit tasty these days. We all know the Croats weren’t brilliant but we put them to the sword comfortably and that’s all you can ask.

Looking ahead there aren’t many teams we fear. If we don’t play well enough the chances are we’ll win anyway. A couple of weeks into the season going to Man City would have filled me with dread but these days nobody frightens us, home or away.

Check out some average replays of the goals to a rock soundtrack.

Can someone tell me what’s going on? We were awful for over an hour staring defeat against a very good Liverpool side in the face. Then all of a sudden we’ve beaten the league leaders. Like Sir red nose reindeer once said, “football, bloody hell”. Now we’re unbeaten against three of last years top four, which suggests the real standard of our team. United come to town next month and if we can make it a full set any lingering doubts over relegation are likely to be put to bed.

The scousers look the real deal. Difficult to play against with a threat going forward they could really challenge this year. We were lucky to get anything out of the game but who cares?

David Bentley is quickly becoming one of my favourite Hotspurs. He was rubbish for long periods but gave us about ten minutes of quality which turned the game. His ball in for the equaliser couldn’t be defended and his last minute shot led to Pav’s winner. If he could spread his contribution to half an hour imagine what we could achieve.

Hat’s off to ‘Arry. Whatever it is he’s doing seems to be working. The same players playing pretty much the same way are picking up remarkable results. Oneday must be sitting at home screwing wondering why the boys wouldn’t do that for him. Now we’re off the bottom of the league and confidence is sky high. They call it the ‘Redknapp Factor’ and long may it continue.

COYS

Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool