Sunderland AFC

As said in the 'Greatest Left-Back' post, we've had our fair share of decent ones, and thereforewe haven't had too many disasters there.

So I'm going to plump for Ian Harte, who played a handful of games for us there last year, and managed to look utterly, utterly shocking in that time.

It's probably a bit unfair on Harte, as he didn't have time to settle and was only a free transfer. But christ, he was awful. I honestly reckon I could have harked my (more than) ample frame around quicker than Harte, and going forward he offered absolutely nothing, he was a disaster. The one thing he was supposedly good at, free-kicks, never materialised as the few he took were abysmal.

His time came to an end when he started in the 7-1 demolition from Everton last November, which saw our team, as a whole, display incredible defensive awfulness.

It is probably harsh to include him on the basis of a few appearances, but nobody else immediately springs to mind. If anyone can think of anyone more suited, feel free to use the comments buttons to slate my choice and offer your own.

We've had some decent contenders for this in the last 13 years. Martin Scott was Mr. Steady and was just about the best penalty-taker I've seen at the club, Julio Arca came here as a left-back and was always very good when in his main position (although he may feature in the side later in another of his positions) and Ringo was great while he was here first time around, and hopefully now he has returned he can kick-on and do the business again.

But the vote has to go to...Mickey Gray. and before anybody shouts me down, I know that Mickey was rubbish by the time he left, and that his last year and a half here was spent with him being constantly out of position, and seemingly back tracking desperately while failing to get his head onto a high, diagonal ball (seemed to happen to him all the time that did).

But I prefer to remember his first few years as our left-back. His hellish partnership with Magic Johnston in the first division play-off/promotion season, him being the only Sunderland player in donkeys years to play a competitive international match and his stunning cross for the goal in the second 2-1 at SJP.

Mickey did have a tendency to be a bit of a berk (the story about him driving into training in a brand-new sports car on the day a load of academy staff were made redundant is pretty galling), but overall he was a great servent for the club, of which he was a massive supporter as well. He wasn't amazing, but he's definately the best we've had in recent years.

Look at Patrick Viera poo his French pants after Keano wades in...

After Jack Warner slagged our Roy for pulling Dwight Yorke out of a Trinidad match this week, Keano has come out all guns blazing, calling the deputy head of Fifa a clown, and telling him where to go.

It's classic Roy, all mentalist eyes and cool beard, and it's great to see him sit and criticise Warner, who is well known for not being all that honest.

For those that don't know, Warner is also head of the T&T FA and oversaw there 2006 World Cup campaign as chief. He was involved in a great deal of controversy about bonus payments not being paid to players, and about ticket packages for the same tournament. To read about more his less-savoury antics, google Lasana Liburd, a Trinidadian (is that a word?) journalist who has covered the corruption extensively and has had several run-ins with Warner.

But, meanwhile, well done to Roy for having his say and not taking stick from anyone, no matter where they are in Fifa.

Been busy these last few weeks, so haven't had the opportunity to post.

Basicly, since last I posted, we welcomed Ringo back to fill in our problem left-back. If nothing else, the £6m fee being talked about shows just how poor Sir Niall was as manager - letting him leave for £600k plus Clive Clarke is really some of the worst business in football history. Still, he's back now and hopefully he can continue the progress he's made since leaving.

We wave goodbye to Danny Higg, who although dodgy at times will always be remembered for goals against the Mags and the Boro, and wasn't too bad in his time here (at least in comparison to McShame). Best of luck at Stoke Danny, hope you can do well there.

Since then (in other words since transfer deadline day) there hasn't been a great deal of craic, or at least nothing I won't cover in my Wigan preview/other bits and bobs i'm putting on here today.

Funny clip like...

As someone who doesn't get to all the away games, I spend a large proportion of my season listening to the matches on the ol' wireless. For anybody who is in a similar boat, I am sure you will agree there is not a more hellish way to follow your side.

It's absolute hell. For a start, the commentator gives you loads of nonesense like 'Sunderland are playing from right to left in this first half', and unless you know the ground, it is of no real use or help. You also cannot truly gauge whether or not you are playing well, and who is doing the business. You might hear the name a million and one bloody times, and think 'or aye, he's deeing alreet like', but then you speak to somebody there and turns out that player was rubbish.

But that's small fry compared to the real problem. The real bloody problem is trying to make out when and when you haven't scored. Most radio commentators get themselves all hot and bothered at the slightest thing. There voice goes up, all high and loud, at the sight of a throw-in in the other teams half - and heaven forbid we get a corner. But all you can hear is the commentator going 'Sunderland here, on the ball, out wide to..OHHHHHHHHHH' and immediately your heart is in your mouth, and your halfway into the air celebrating before you realise you've just won a drop-ball. The same happens when the other side goes forward, only you go off the sound of the crowd - you just hear a massive roar, at anything, and you resign yourself, albeit momentarily, to 'we've bloody let one in man'.

It's horrible, and the worst thing is, you cannot turn it off. You can be losing 3-0, with 20 minutes left and be thoroughly fed up. You switch the radio off, insisting your sick. But guaranteed, 2 minutes later you will flick it back on, 'just incase we've improved and nicked one back'. Of course, we never have. But still, you cannot stop yourself.

All in all, the radio is probably the worst way to keep an eye (or an ear, in fact) on your side, and I would heartily recomend that any 'radio-virgins' steer well clear. It's best for your health like.

A quick note to mention ttfn to two of last years Summer signings.

Dickson Etuhu has went to Fulham to show Roy Hodgson and his gang of cock-er-nee chancers exactly how NOT to pass a football, and teach them that trapping a bag of sand is in fact a bloody difficult skill. In fairness to Dickson, he has no technical ability but at times last year he played a part as a holding midfielder, and nicked a vital goal in our relegation clash with Wigan. So best of luck Dicko, we made a little bit o'money on you and hope you do well.

Paul Mcshane has went to Hull on loan for the season. A defender so bad that even the mention of his name at the KC Stadium caused his new side to lose 5-0, Mcshane is a willing worker but an absolutely hopeless, so-bad-it's-untrue footballer, and he will be of no miss.

The 'highlights' of his time here was him watching the ball bounce over his head for about 4 of the Everton goals in last season's 7-1 mauling (yet still saying he deserved credit for 'all the goals I stopped'!!!), watching him on a one-man mission to lead the Mags to derby-day victory in last-seasons game at Sid James Park and seeing him inexplicably tackling a Reading player, even though the ball was out of play and everyone was waiting for a corner to be taken.

Best of luck McShane, and best of luck Hull - christ knows you're going to need it.

December 5th, 1999. We'd been in the Premiership four months and are doing quite well, but still the 4-0 defeat at Stamford Bridge on the first day of the season hurts. Today is the day that Chelsea come to town, and today is the day we can get our revenge. What happens next is pretty much the best 45 minutes I've seen The Lads play in my time.

A minute and a half in, our cool-as-a-kipper Frenchie Eric Roy bursts in the box, lays it across to Quinny who taps it in. 1-0.

The wait for another goal is a little longer, about half an hour, but then when it comes it is magic. Any Sunderland fan worth their salt has already seen it about a million times, so there is really no reason to describe it - just watch the video below. 2-0

Minutes later, Quinny tries one of his trademark 'chest and volleys', De Goey saves and Superkev smashed in the rebound. 3-0 

Minutes later, a corner played to the back post, The Mighty Quinn loses his man and smashes it into the bottom corner. 4-0

Half-time that day is a blur of absolute happiness, the joy in peoples faces something truly wonderful to behold. I've yet to see scenes like that since, and wonder when next we can have a half-like that. Just watch the video below, and marvel at how good we were back in those days. Hopefully, with Keano and Quinny at the helm, we can see times like that again soon.

(to the tune of 'Magic' by Pilot )

'Ho-Ho-Ho, He's Magic, you know,

You'll never get past Tainio'

let's have a laugh at the Mags....

There is a word limit on these blogs, so a restriction on what I can type which is fortunate as 3000 words wouldn't cover just how bad we were today. So, the main conclusions are:

1) Despite the obvious progress we are making, and the money we have spent, we are still a long way from being as good as a Citeh team which absolutely tore us a new bumhole.

2)Player wise - Danny Collins and Nyron seemed to have a contest over who could get dropped first for Anton, Phil Bardsley looked like a right-back playing left-back (which he was), Richardson give the ball away approximately 7million times, Leadbitter give it away about double that, Diouf will be a better player if he stops looking behind himsell for a free-kick everytime the opposition looks at him, and Andy Reid didn't look particularly good as captain.

3) We missed Dean Whitehead, or Teemu Tainio. Or midfield (both the players and the selection) was naive/stupid, too many attacking options but no 'anchor' to do the dirty job exposing the defence.

4) The bloke who sits next to me is a mong - seriously, could anyone know less about football? The worst moment was him chanting 'Where's ya daddy gone' to Wright-Phillips. He's gone to Gladiators mate, get over it.

5) A few of our fans are flapping like nowt else at this. People need to chill out - we were poor (bloody dreadful actually) but we will play better and in fairness, City were excellent, despite the fact that off-the-pitch they are high comedy, on the field they look very impressive. That Jo is a player too.

6) Finally, the day was topped at having to do the 15 minute walk into the city in the pouring rain, in my jacket with no hood or zip. Fitting end I feel.

I bloody hate football I do.

I'll get to the Citeh match in a minute, could take a while that one...

The Carling Cup was nice to us, giving us a home tie against Northampton Town, who may have dumped Bolton out last round but you would surely fancy our chances to go through (famous last words and all that). It looked at one point like we were destined to get the Mags, but they got Spurs instead, so looks like lady luck was shining on us (to use a already over-used cliche).

Not much in the last few days really. We don't look like bringing any left-back in on deadline day, which is a shame as we badly lack there but we have had a decent summer in fairness so cannot complain too much.

That's about it really. Thrill-a-minute like.

Jesus christ that was close. Four minutes away from yet another humiliating cup defeat (which would have been especially embarrassing given it was our bloody first-team, all but, which played), we manage to nick and are 'in the pot' for the next round, where we'll no doubt get Arsenal Kids away and be tonked 3-0.

In all fairness, although we weren't perfect, we had a fair few chances - Big Djib hit the post in the half hour he played before his whole body got cramp, apparently. And the otherwise perfect Andy Reid missed an absolute sitter from yards out. Forest's goal was pretty special too, with Mr. Universe curling in a stunning free-kick which Gordon could do nothing about, although surely putting the smallest man on the end of the wall was a bit daft, whoever's idea that was. It was also quite funny reading somebody on one of our messageboards say that it would make more sense not to have a wall, as it blocks the keeper's sight - probably the most ridiculous thing I've read this year.

It looked like we were going out, until Phil Bardsley stuck out his leg in the way of El-Radgey's cross to become the first Sunderland full-back since about 1922 to score a goal. Extra time it was, and David Healy's goal was simple enough but it was nice for him to nick a debut strike like Cisse a few days ago. They still had time to hit the bar after our defence decided to stop actually defending, but we held out and went through.

All-in-all, we played shit but won. Sadly, Steed will likely miss the Citeh game on Sunday after picking up a knock, which is a gutter, and both Cisse and Danny Collins took knocks, so it wasn't all good. But it's nice to be through, and, in the words of Keano, we move on...

Roy Keane returns to the City Ground for the first time as a manager (unless you count the friendly we had there about three weeks ago, in which case, it isn't the first time) hoping to improve on his, frankly, crap record in the cups as our boss.

Played 3, Lost 3, Scored 0 Conceded 7 is our cup record under Keano, and hopefully he can inspire us to a decent win tonight and on a decent run. We haven't had many cup runs over the years, and this is probably our best chance of doing well in one, so it's definately worth a decent fist.

Word is that David Healy could make his debut, and a few changes will be made but not loads as we do look for that elusive cup victory under Roy.

My prediction is a tough 1-0 win, with Andy Reid smashing in a free-kick to send his old club home disapointed (probably a little too specific a prediction by me mind).

Well, after a thousand and one rumours saying he'd failed the medical, we announced the signing of 'Little Rio' earlier today for an undisclosed fee (by the way, why is everything nowadays a bloody undisclosed fee - sick to death of it, it's fairly bloody irritating, I want to know how much we pay).

A good signing, giving us extra strength in defence, the 23 year-old has plenty of potential and hopefully will follow in his brother's footsteps by seeing a move North focus his mind and improve him. Keano certainly thinks so, saying he can go on to become an full England international, which would be canny, like!

He won't make his debut tonight against Forest, or against Citeh at the weekend as he's got a niggly hamstring strain, but hopefully we'll see him in action after the international break down at Wigan on the 12th of September.

Roy says we've got one more signing to get in, which will likely be a left-back. There has been that many rumours doing the round it is daft, so it is now just a case of sitting and waiting to find out the craic and if we can get in our tenth signing of the summer.

As I mentioned in the Greatest XI blog, we've had some disasters here over the years. Stephen Wright done alright at Championship level, but was hopeless in the Premier. Nyron Nosworthy was one of the biggest joke right-backs you are likely to see (he's a mint Centre-Back though). Greg Halford is one of the most embarrassing efforts to wear the shirt.

In the end, it came down to two. Bernt Haas missed out because, in fairness to him, he does have a brilliantly funny name. Old 'Charred Arse' was so terrible I remember him once sticking a cross into his own box, but with a moniker like that, it would be unfair to single him out.

First choice for the number 2 shirt is Gareth Hall. There isn't many words to describe him, other than slow, fat, cumbersome, useless, bad-haircut, ugly, untalented, useless, liability, pathetic, useless, joke, so-bad-it's-unbelievable, Welsh and useless.

Just a few facts about our Gareth. He was once voted Chelsea's worst ever player. He came on as a sub for his debut at our place, and still managed to get a red-card. He replaced club favourite Dariusz Kubicki in the match where Dariusz would have equalled a club-record of consecutive appearances, and then gave away a penalty in it. And he was generally just useless.

Not just a contender for worst right-back, but worst player of my time, Gareth Hall has made this position his own.

In my time, we haven't had a great deal of successful right-backs. In fact, we've had some bloody awful ones, so finding the best of the last 13 years was pretty easy.

Chris Makin signed for us the same summer (1997) we moved to the Sol, and was here almost four years. His first season was stop-start, and he looked a bit of knacker, but once we got into the 1998/1999 season, he became part of our record-breaking promotion side. His rock-solid tackles were a key part of his game, absolutely destroying opposition left wingers when going for the ball. As the song goes 'Solid granite, three-feet deep, is softer than Chris Makin'.

Affectionately nicknamed 'Shoot' as he couldn't seem to score a goal for Toffee, Makin finally got it on the last day of the 99/00 Premiership season, slotting home cooly at White Hart Lane as the away supporters went mental at the little slice of history they and just seen.

Sold off, suddenly, by Peter Reid in 2001, he continued to knocked about the top two divisions before retiring last summer. He's still the best right-back we have had at the club in my time, although Phil Bardsley and Pascal Chimbonda could stake a decent claim to that over the next year or two - Bardsley already looks a legend in the making.

But, for now, 'Shoot' is the choice for the number 2 shirt - he was cool, he was hard and he even became the first Sunderland player to go out with a celebrity (step forward Melanie Sykes).

Chris Makin, you are saluted.

We've had our bid for Anton Ferdinand accepted, and now we wait and see if he'll decide to step aboard the magic carpet. Although he's young and a bit daft, he's got Premiership experience, has been proven in it and hopefully in the same way that a move away from the capital helped sort his brother out, hopefully Anton can find himself improving under Keano's tutelage (although I ain't suggesting he'll be as good as Rio).

Keane has also said that he is hoping to complete one other signing, a loan deal, before the end of the week. Nobody knows who it is for, although it is believed to be a left-back. There have been a million and one rumours about it, but until something pretty concrete comes of it there is no point listing the rumoured players. What was interested was that Fergie said that Silvestre came up here for talks, and we were very close to signing him until Arsenal came in - that would have been a great signing, such a shame the Gunners snapped him up.

Additionally, it has been revealed that Pascal Chimbonda was missing from Saturday's team at Spurs because he turned up late for a team stroll around the hotel they were staying in. Another fine example of Keano's drive for discipline, although one wonders why they were having a stroll around the hotel. Maybes Roy wanted the lads to be all clued up onhealth and safety, pointing out the fire exits and such like - what else is there to stroll about a hotel for?

there's about a million different versions of the verses, but here's one I heard...anyone with better suggestions, feel free to put them forward

to the tune of Noah's Ark (and aye, it's nicked off the Torres song)

He came to Sunderland from Marseille, Cisse, Cisse

A sniff of goal he'll make you pay, Cisse, Cisse

He'll grab a goal and do a dance

We'd never send him back to France

Djibril Cisse, Sunderland's Number Nine

Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar

Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar

Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar

Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar Nar-Nar

Djibril Cisse, Sunderland's Number Nine

Well, it's offical. I know nothing about football. After confidently stating that we would definately lose at WHL because we always lose there in my match preview the other day (here), we went and got one of our best results in bloody ages.

Reading that preview, there's loads I got wrong. Criticising Daryl Murphy (who is no longer goal machine, but surely 'assist machine') and saying Berbatov would come off the bench to win it (everyone knows what happened with him) in particular. But a truly special result.

I didn't see the game, due to being at work until five so I had to settle for listening on the radio in the office. As it was a radio on a phone, it only worked with headphones, so I was the only person who could hear it, meaning I give a bit of a shock to the lasses sitting next to 'is when I leapt up in the air and started shouting joyful obscenities and 'BIG DJIB! BIG DJIB HAS BLOODY SCORED' to the other lad in work.

Watching the highlights on Football First, the defence looked solid and Gordon made some great stops, and we looked nifty going forward. Rico's goal was a blinder, while Assist Machine's cross for the Lord to head in was inch-perfect.

All-in-all, a helluva result and sets up nicely for the Man City match next Sunday.

Is it too obvious to pick my very first 'Why I Love' topic as the only Englishman to win the European Golden Boot, and just about our most prolific goalscorer in the last fifty years? Yeah, it is too obvious? I'm not really bothered like, just thought it was a fancy way to start the blog.

Basically, Superkev was a phenomenom for us. Scoring 35 in his first year despite missing a couple of months injured, 25 in his second (despite missing 4 months) and 30 in his third (top scoroer in the Premiership by about 7 clear goals), Superkev encapsulated the club during the brief part of our recent history when the good times really rolled. We had just moved to the SOL, we're playing amazing football and we're up near the top of the league.

His highlights include a load of goals against the Mags (including the winner in the rain in 2-1 v.1), his wonder goal against Chelsea and his link-up with Quinny. Since he left us, he hasn't ever been quite as prolific at the top level, but still done very well and is now the best striker in the CCC by a country mile.

Superkev, we all love you and you will, forever, be a Sunderland legend.

Unless you're living under a rock (or some other tired, patronising cliche) you'll have noticed that since my last update we have been improving the squad. Signing Djibril Cisse on loan is a great coup for us, and hopefully he can be a success and we can sign him on permanently next summer.

David Healy isn't the greatest striker in the world, but he'll add decent cover and for me is a better option than Chopra, who many fans seem to rate purely because he tries hard and runs around a lot (bless him). Hopefully our stack of canny midfielders will give Healy a chance to do a bit better than he did at Fulham, and we'll have ourselves a useful little substitute attacking option to change games.

We have also been strongly linked with Anton Ferdinand. Keane has said we have agreed a deal 'in principle' with a player, but a few things need ironing out - could this be Anton? West Ham have said they have not recieved a formal bid, so maybe we are discussing the deal with them and were talking to him in the meantime? Who knows.

I do know that, a mate of a mate (aye, I know it sounds dodgy) plays for the Hammers, and says that Ferdinand hasn't been training for a few days, and was up here for talks on Wednesday. Probably the usual bull you get doing the rounds, but thought it was worth a mention.

tally-ho.

We always, always lose at Spurs. It's in our blood. Nothing we can do can stop the inevitable defeat to come our way at White Hart Lane. Since I have been a supporter the only fixture we have always lost is Tottenham Hotspur away. We've got points at Arsenal, Liverpool and Old Trafford and even won at Chelsea and such like. But we always lose at Spurs. Please forgive me for being quite so negative, but I'm determined not to let myself get into a state of excitement following our big-signing from yesterday, or else I'll only end up letting myself down.

Big-Djib has been given clearance to play in the match, and hopefully he will start (he surely cannot be any worse as a lone striker than Daryl 'Goal Machine' Murphy). His signing is a real bolt in the arm for us, and gives us a lift after the sad news Teemu Tainio will be out for three-weeks (it seems that talk of him being injury prone, were perhaps based a little in truth). Whitehead will probably come in for him, and get loads of stick of everyone because he isn't Patrick Vieira or something - truth is, he lacks a it of technical ability but can still do a decent job surrounded by half-decent, quality midfielders (which we have).

So, looking towards the match, I'm going to predict a close 2-1 defeat - we score first through the Lord of the Manor, who duly goes ecstatic and does a little dance, makes a little love and pretty much gets down for the away fans. Spurs equalise through one of their several thousand new midfielders, before Berbatov comes off the bench to nick a winner, forcing Jeff Stelling to actually explode live on air on Soccer Saturday.  

Right, before we begin, this isn't because they beat us on Saturday (although, it obviously didn't help). I've always held a passionate dislike for the Scousers.

There's not even a single reason, I've got loads. For a start, there's the ridiculous way that every summer, you hear about a million misinformed pundits claim that 'this year is Liverpool's year', because they've signed some mid-range Premier League player who the rest of the 'big four' wouldn't touch (I'm looking at you Crouch, Pennant, Benayoun, Keane). In fact, why am I falling for them as part of the 'big four'? It's actually the 'big three' and Liverpool.

It's also their intense arrogance. You can't buy their history, they sing. Unless of course, your an American oil tycoon, or from DIC, then they seem pretty willing to sell you that history. They're nice like that.

Maybe it's their supporters, who turn up in droves admittedly, but sit and stare and generally can't be bothered to get amongst at atmosphere, unless it's the biggest of games (then they are 'magical', apparently, the dedicated lot that they are). Maybe it's Clive Tyldesley, and his stupid bloody 'special European nights at Anfield', which basically means that the referee will give the scousers a barrel-load of appalling decisions.

Maybe it's because the media MASSIVELY overhype their local heroes - whether it's Robbie 'I can't actually be arsed to try' Fowler, or Steven 'I'm a very poor Roy of the Rovers impression' Gerrard, or Jamie 'I bottle big games, but should play for England anyway' Carragher, they always seem to get an inordinate amount of praise.

There's probably a thousand and one other reasons, but my word count restricts me. No doubt, if any Liverpool fans read this, there pet-lip will come out and they'll feel all sorry for themselves, as only Scousers do. But bring on the abuse, I can take (I think!).

Sunderland 4 - 4 Charlton (Charlton win 7-6 on penalties)

I cannot believe the first memorable match is one we lost, but it was so good it is impossible to ignore.

Just a bit of background - we went into it as the First Divisions best team, by some distance, over the second half of the season. We scored goals for fun, had a young, vibrant side and only missed out on automatic promotion by a single point (we actually got 90 points, the highest total ever not to be go up with this horrible lottery).

The emotion of the match was unbelievable. Superkev's goal was his 35th of the season, breaking a long standing record, and the joy which greeted it was amazing. As a complete counterpoint, Richard Rufus's last gasp header (after Leee-onnn-elll decided to start treking about his own box) seemed, at the time, like the most deflating moment one could ever imagine (it was, actually, to arrive about an hour later).

The drama was that intense that when Summerbee put us 4-3 up, the celebrations seems muted. People were drained physically, mentally and emotionally and when Mickey Gray stepped up in that awful gold away top (that stupid bloody gold away top - I will always associate it with this day) and put that dreadful penalty into Ilic's hands, the world caved in. Rumour has it that on the way back from the game, our assistant coach Bobby Saxton (aka Father Jack) told Mickey that if he ever asked a doorman "Do you know who I am?" again, he would get the reply "Aye, your the knacker who ballsed up that penalty". Gallows humour and all that.

So watch the video, and remember (although I doubt you've forgot) just how remarkable a day that was.

Andy Reid

Plays Left Wing

He Loves Mcdonalds

And Burger King

You've gotta love Benno

Well, here's the latest round-up surrounding the lads.

Considering the fact that on Saturday we looked about as toothless as hobo after a scrap with Ricky Hatton (see match report here - not of the Hatton vs Hobo, but of our match), getting a striker in is probably a good idea. Therefore, it is encouraging that we are being linked with a striker of the calibre of Benni McCarthy, even though the rumoured fee of £9m seems a helluva lot for player who is 31 in November. He's still miles better than what we've got (although, that's not really saying a lot), so he would be welcomed.

Also linked, is 'Rio-lite', Anton Ferdinand. Although he's nowhere near as good as his bro (although seemingly just as bloody irritating), he is a decent Premier League player, and apparently we've had a bid accepted of around £8m (again a lot, considering he is out of contract next year). It's just up to him to decide now, so no doubt he'll hint and hint for another London club to sign him. Fingers crossed he doesn't, and we can wrap it up.

No other news, apart from stupid transfer rumours from silly messageboards. Anything else more, and I'll be sure to update you ASAP (even though, to be fair, you'll have read about it ages before you read about it on here, as cool and nifty as this place is -  it's not like this is your first port of call to find out the latest happenings is it?).

Well, here goes my first crack at the legends team, and I've got to start with our very own gentle giant, Sir Niall of Quinn.

Signed by Peter Reid for (a then club record) £1.3m in 1996, Quinny's signature was deemed as dodgy by many, and he was thought of as nothing more than a carthouse. For his first year and a half, he was nearly always injured, with this absolutely moronic fool who writes your blogs one of many who wrote the big man off as a donkey (in my defence, I was young and stupid and a bit of a chav). Eventually though, he then came good, and produced heroic effort and heroic effort, as well as being an all round top bloke.

Magic Moments? Where to start. Scoring the winner in the top of the table clash at Bradford, before going in goal in the same match to keep a clean-sheet? Ripping the likes of Sol Campbell and Marcel Desailly apart in the Premier? Slaying the Mags at their place with a majestic header for our second 2-1? Having his own song (about his habit for wearing daft keks) released? Just a few of his many highlights.

It is off the pitch where he is also an icon. Giving £1m from his testemonial to charity was magical, but for a Sunderland fan we love him more than anyone because, when we were rubbish (and I mean really, really rubbish, 15-point and totally skint rubbish), he grafted his knackers off to get a gang of Irishmen together to buy us out, bring in Keano and basically set about our very own magic carpet ride.

SNQ is just about the ultimate at our club, and it is doubtful anyone will ever be held in higher esteem by our supporters. We adore the bloke, and long may he remain at the club, watching as we climb and climb and become the club we know we can be.

Niall Quinn's Disco Pants truly are the best.

Same as the greatest 11 really - will post them one by one, and all that, in a 442 formation, and they are all from my time as a supporter (so it really should be dead easy finding a teamful of garbage). So, here goes nothing...

Kelvin Davis

June 2005 - We sign Kelvin Davis for £1.2m from Ipswich, and this blogger is chuffed, convinced we've signed our next great keeper, and that Kelvin has all the qualities to be a top keeper. And to be fair, the only attributes he lacked were positioning, intelligence and the ability to catch a football.

Aside from some decent reflexes (which were pointless anyway, as he always pushed the ball back out into the six yard box for an easy rebound), Calamity Kelvin was absolutely hopeless. Whether it was constantly getting beat at his far post, or his inability to save a free-kick, or his penchant or ballsing up at big moments, Kelvin quickly became a hate figure at the club, and why George Burley thought he was worth a short at Southampton is anyone's guess. His worst moment came when he completely bottled it against the Mags in our 15 point season, a goal which started their turn-around from 1-0 down, to winning 4-1.

Cheers Kelvin, you were absolutely rank!

Right, I'm going to pick the greatest XI over a number of posts - it's gives a chance to truly explain the choices, and allows people who may be reading (is there anyone out there???) to comment on them more specifically. It is going to be based on my time as a Sunderland fan (1995-present) because anything else I would be guessing and going on other people's opinions, and that's all a bit naff. It'll be 442, and the four subs will be named in one post at the end. So here it goes...

Tommy Sorenson

It all went wrong for Tommy in the end, but at first he was class. Solid as a rock and with the spectacular saves to match, he seemed unbeatable at times, and really played a massive part in our two seventh place finishes under Reidy. Special moments for him were a penalty save which allowed us to win the game at Bolton away in 2001, and a couple of great performances in home games against Arsenal, helping us to clean sheets both times.

But the real moment which marks him down is saving Shearer's penalty at Sid James to give us our second 2-1 win in 2000. A great moment from Tommy, and easily his finest in a Sunderland shirt. Sadly, his decline began in 2002, and when he completely ballsed up against England in the WC, he became a wreck which, to be honest, looks like he is never going to fully recover and get back to where he was.

Hopefully, in a couple of years, Craig Gordon will take this position, he certainly has the potential. But fair play to Tommy, he done us well in his time here, and best of luck to him at Stoke.