Liverpool FC

(Voiceover) Welcome to the final part of "Perma-Kops”. Thank Christ for that, this thing has dragged on longer than a Gareth Barry transfer! Anyway, after questioning Gerrard Houllier and not being arsed to listen to his answer the mustachioed pair return to Liverpool and are frustrated in their quest to find the Red Robber...

Cue to 70's Cop Music and images of Souness lifting the European Cup and McDermott combing his moustache.

GS: Mac, time's running out. We've got to find this burgling bum before the PSV game.

TM: Maybe it’s not revenge but jealousy.

GS: That's not a bad idea, and who do we know who are most jealous of Liverpool?

Together: Everton!!!

GS: Now which of those under achieving, over-rated catastrophes would have the baws to do this?

TM: Someone who’s jealous of the Liverpool players for having the international shirts and the medals that he can't get himself. A local lad who knows the city.

Together: It's got to be him!

Souey & The Mac burst through a front door and search a house. They enter some kind of shrine; there are pictures of Liverpool's triumphs but with the offenders head photo-shopped onto them. The Red Robber lifting the cup instead of Gerrard and again with the FA Cup. There are international shirts with the original name removed and his name crudely drawn on in felt tip. The name reads: Hibbert!

Tony Hibbert walks into the room

TH: What's going on?

GS: Hibbert! You're the Red Robber.

TM: You're jealous of the Liverpool players. You've never won any medals; you've never had an England Cap. That's why you've stolen all these medals and memorabilia.

TH: Stop, Stop. It's true. I want to play for Liverpool. Its awful playing for Everton, we'll never win anything and we know it, that’s why we're all bitter buggers.

GS: Get the handcuffs Mac, we're taking him in.

TH: Wait a minute, you're not actually policemen.

TM: Shit. He's got us there Souey.

TH: I'm getting Big Dunc round.

GS: Oh shite, Mac lets get the hell out of here.

END