After all those years of struggling along with nobody wanting to "Giz a Job" I've made it as a professional footballer. I saw dat Graeme Souness once and told him that he looked like me, well I saw him play football and I said "I can do dat". So I went down to Melwood, said I was an Israeli international, told Rafa to "Giz a go" and here I am. So it's no longer Boy from the Blackstuff but Boy scoring past Blackburn Rovers; as we saw on Saturday. However, some of the lads haven't been as lucky as me and dat's why I'm here, I've set up a recruitment service and I'll tell ya wha, in no time at all I've had plenty of fellas coming in here saying "Giz a job, giz a go. I can do dat" so lets see if they can. I'm no stranger to recession and unemployment so I'm gonna give a helping hand to these poor jobless sods.
First up we have Roy Keane, now I was a bit unsure about this guy at first. A) He played for the mancs and B) He walked away from a job when things got a bit tough, a bit scared of hard work. Well, I've got something right up his street, something nice and easy for Roy. It's that time of year and shopping centres across the land are looking for people to dress in red, have a shabby beard and sit on their backside all day. That's right, Roy can be Father Christmas. He's got the necessary experience as his defence have been giving away presents to opponents all season. Only sticky point might be that he hasn't been dealing too well with those kids who start crying when the don't get what they want, let's hope El Hadji Diouf doesn't come and sit on his lap.
That's Roy sorted, if he doesn't like this one I hear there's a managers job going at his old club. No not that one, Catering Manager, make sure there's enough prawn sandwiches for everyone.