Liverpool FC

It's been a pretty dull January transfer window with no rumours of any new signings; I've been focusing on possible outgoings. I've spent £500 on chickens from the supermarket so I can use the wishbones and pray lady luck makes a few of our more... shall we say... undesirable players sod right off!!! So you can imagine my surprise as I sit quietly snapping another furcula bone in two when KABLAMMO, 4 preposterous rumours hit me in the mush like a back alley mugging by rhetoric and hearsay.

1) El Hadj Diouf's move to Blackburn will be hijacked by Rafa Benitez, the Liverpool boss is looking to Diouf to provide a spit-shine finish to the players boots.

2) Steve Finnan is making a swift return to Anfield from Espanyol. After he was forced out of the club by Alvaro Arbeloa's intimidation tactics; Finnan has had his revenge. Finnan hired some Irish hoodlum's to tear Arbeloa's hamstring in two in the hope that a recall to The Reds would materialise. Rumours that this was Roy Keane's first job since leaving Sunderland have yet to be confirmed.

3) Rafa Benitez is offering Jan Kromkamp a second bit at the Liverpool cherry. Benitez sees the Dutch fullback as a lucky charm as his signature in the January 2006 was the impetus for our FA Cup winning run to Cardiff. Benitez is hoping lightning will strike twice. Philip Degan will move the other way in another case of " The Rafa Benitez Right Back Transfer Merry-go-round" that he's so fond of.

4) Real Madrid will purchase not just Jermaine Pennant but also Andrea Dossena. Although no transfer fee will be paid for "The Doorman" and "Tag Boy"; Real have promised that they will play both players against Liverpool in the forthcoming Champions League ties.

Now, I'm not saying that these rumours are going to lead to any concrete bids but rumours are always worth reporting on, even if they're rumours that I've started myself like these ones.

Well what do you know, Liverpool v Everton in the 4th round of the FA Cup. Now that in itself is a mouth watering tie and is enough to get everyone fired up on both sides of Stanley Park but there are a few extra ingredients to add to this cup tie.

Firstly, this will be the 2nd time we'll have faced each other at Anfield in that week having hosted the bitter toffees the previous Monday in the league. It's a similar situation to last year's league match at Arsenal being sandwiched between the Champions League ties but the difference here is that we cannot afford to be putting out a weakened team in the league like Rafa did in the Arsenal league encounter. What may happen is that it's the FA Cup that is treated as inferior and a few players will be rested for that game before the league tie at Wigan on the following Wednesday. However, we then face Chelsea at Anfield on the Sunday which is arguably the most important of all of these matches so Rafa will really have his work cut out in juggling his side to ensure maximum league points and progression in the cup.

Secondly, Steven Gerrard's court appearance after being charged with assault and affray takes place on the 23rd January, just 2 days before the cup match. In the Derby games I always feel it's important that a few local players are involved as they know what's at stake in the match as well as the 3 points or progression to the next round. We'll just have to wait and see what effect that fateful Friday in Sefton Magistrates Court will have on our skipper and the rest of our season.

Rafa Benitez has mentioned Liverpool's 3 new signings that have been brought in for no money at all. Drum roll please... they are; Fernando Torres, Martin Skrtel and Fabio Aurelio. Rafa does have a point, Torres has played in only 16 of our 30 games this season and some of those have been off the bench or when not fully fit, Skrtel has played in only 10 and Aurelio 15. With Arbeloa injured and Carragher having to cover at right back; Skrtels return will provide the cover and competition needed at centre back and he was playing brilliantly before his injury. Insua is playing well at left back but he's only young and Aurelio's return will allow Rafa to rotate them as he sees fit (although Aurelio will no don't get injured at some point in February).

Torres's return is obviously the most eye catching. Being without your main striker for half the season would hamper any team especially one who scored 30 goals last season, fortunately we've been able to stay at the top of the table, but anyone can see that our forwards are not scoring enough goals with only Gerrard in double figures from those 30 games. Keane's lack of goals has been well documented and Torres's return will lift some of the burden off the Irishman. Hopefully Torres will get some minutes under his belt against Preston and Stoke and then be ready to face Everton in the Derby to dish out more punishment to the bluenoses (see vid).

In terms of new players I don't think we'll be very active in the transfer window unless a few players leave first. If Pennant leaves then the £3 received for him maybe used on a right sided player to bolster the ranks either on the wing or at right back; where Degan's injury problems have left us short on numbers. Elsewhere I can't see us bringing anyone in and in the current financial climate I can't see the Americans giving out much money to do so even if Rafa wanted to.

... Or so I thought.

Gerrard's arrest whilst out celebrating our win against Newcastle has certainly caused a dramatic end to the year. What was a joyful climax to 2008 following our great performances and results against Bolton and Newcastle and being 3 points clear at the top of the league has been substituted by a worrying wait for January 23rd when our captain and Member of the British Empire will appear in court on charges of assault, actual bodily harm and affray. As I don't know the details of what actually happened in the disturbance at the nightclub I'm not going to try and defend or rebuke Gerrard. We will have to wait until January to see what happens in court.

In the meantime we have to see what effect it is going to have on the team's performance. I don't think Gerrard would have played against Preston in the cup on Saturday had this not happened. Now does Rafa throw him straight into the side to get his first game out of the way or is it a happy coincidence that the first game is one that wouldn't have featured the skipper anyway. The next games up are an away game at Stoke and then 4 days before the 23rd... The Derby. Now this is one game where need to have Gerrard back and firing on all cylinders. No doubt the stick he gets off Everton fans will be intensied but fortunately the match is at Anfield.

It appears that the assault on the nightclub's DJ by either Gerrard or his friends (depending on which reports you read) appears to have come about after the DJ refused to allow Gerrard to choose what tunes were played, apparently a bit of Phil Collins was going to help Gerrad celebrate our 5-1 win. Was it a bit more than that? Was the DJ suggesting that Gerrad's missus is an "Easy Lover"? Whatever went on I'm hoping that Gerrard wasn't the main offender and that whatever sentence is decided doesn't hinder a Liverpool title win "Against All Odds".

I just wanted to echo the sentiments of Bolton Ed Mick A.K.A Greeny A.K.A Magic Mick A.K.A Gutted Greeny (or he will be after our Boxing Day clash hopefully) and wish everyone a Cracking Christmas & Sublime New Year.

Just thought I'd also mention that tomorrow sees me head down south to Gatwick to catch a flight to Bermuda, I'll be spending the holiday season on a beach drinking rum, kicking a footy about in the sun and getting up at 7am to watch the midday kick offs with my mate who decided to move out there 6 months ago. The posts will continue from over there and I'll be trying to get a flavour of what the Bermudians think of the season so far.

Now what's this Bermuda triangle people keep mentioning, is it a training drill involving Kyle Ligtbourne, Clyde Best & Shaun Goater?

So, we finally face Real Madrid. Having played the other giants of European football in Champions League football we will head to the Santiago Bernabeu to face Los Meringues. I took a tour around the Bernabeu whilst visiting a mate in Madrid and it's a wonderful stadium and I'm really looking forward to February to see what our boys can achieve out there. Madrid aren't in too good shape at the minute but they have a new coach, OK, it's only Juande Ramos, but we all know that a new manager can breathe new life into a team. I'm even more looking forward for the 2nd leg at Anfield and the atmosphere when we take on the team that has won 9 European Cups. 2 great clubs going head to head. Our only competitive match against Madrid was in the final of this competition in Paris in 1981, 3 months before I was born!!! Our left back Alan Kennedy got the decisive goal that night, maybe our current left back will do the same almost 28 years later. Then again maybe Dossena won't!!!

When David Beckham broke his foot before the 2002 World Cup Finals it created a new type of injury. Player's no longer suffered from a broken foot, they broke a metatarsal. Some newspaper's showed diagrams of the human foot, presumably because the great unwashed wouldn't be able to understand the term "The 5 long bones in the foot". Well the new injury du jour has to be suffering from Kidney Stones. Now this isn't necessarily one for the players but its the must have ailment for all managers/coaches this festive season. Firstly "Massive" Phil Scolari was in hospital prior to the West Ham match with pain caused by kidney stones. Fellipe (as Butch Wilkins calls him) explained how the doctors told him that this pain was similar, if not worse, than a woman goes through when giving birth. "Large" Phil went on to explain how he wouldn't know this because he can't give birth. Another key anatomy lesson for us dimwits.

"Enormous" Phil was joined in the kidney stone club by our own Rafa Benitez. Rafa was in hospital overnight having minor surgery relating to kidney stones. Obviously my best wishes go out to Rafa and hopefully he'll be suitably recovered in time for the Arsenal match on Sunday. However, these 2 bouts of illness do beg the question:

Kidney Stones: The Cause or Effect of dropping points at home?

Not only was Wednesday night's match against Marseille disappointing because of the crappy performance but it also caused 2 injuries that could jeopardise our title challenge. Torres has strained his hamstring again and this is becoming a worrying trend, the previous injuries were encountered whilst playing for Spain but he now seems susceptible to niggling little injuries to his hammy that are sidelining him for a few weeks. Robbie Keane now has to score some goals to take the spotlight away from the sitters he's missed. Yes, yes he's trying hard; yes, yes, God loves a tryer but Anfield loves a goal scorer. Put me up front for Liverpool and I'd try as hard as I could but I don't envisage me making a move to Anfield in January.

Lucas isn't from Nazereth and I'm not suggesting we crucify him, he's from Dourados in Brazil and his performances this season certainly have been Dour. I'm not using this post to slate Lucas, but I do believe Benitez is not doing him, or anyone else, any favours by continually playing him.

When we signed Lucas he was captain of Brazil's Under 20's South American Championship winning side in 2007 and was recipient of Brazil's Player of the Year award a year earlier. At the start of last season he put in some good, solid performances and I took to Lucas to begin with. This was probably because his performances were contrasting to Momo Sissoko's desire to give the ball away to an opponent just so he could do a double-jointed slide tackle to win the ball back. Unfortunately Lucas's form dropped and its continued in that vein this season.

The fans amazement at Lucas's inclusion in the team turned to anger on Saturday when he was picked ahead of Xabi Alonso. Alonso's touchline warm-up triggered the loudest singing of the afternoon, the entire stadium sang for the missing midfield maestro. Lucas can't have been oblivious to this or to the chorus of boos that greeted Benitez's decision to withdraw Mascherano instead of Lucas when Alonso did enter the fold. I wasn't angry at Lucas, he's trying his hardest, he didn't stop tackling and closing down opponents but it's evident that with every misplaced pass that was met with groans from the crowd, he retreated into a shell. He didn't want to do the right thing; he only wanted to avoid doing the wrong thing.

Lucas isn't good enough... yet, but if Benitez keeps forcing the issue and playing him ahead of recognised first teamers then the crowds patience with the 21 year old will diminish quicker than his confidence. A young man adapting to a new country, language and lifestyle could easily look to retreat back to familiar surroundings away from England. That would be a real shame, but Benitez's continued incorrect handling of the situation would be shameful.

Has anyone seen the film "Unbreakable"? (If not, don't watch the vids below!) It stars Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson and is about a guy with a bone disease (Jackson) trying to find a man who can't be hurt (Willis). Jackson's character "Elijah" has a disease that means his bones are very brittle and the slightest impact means they break; he walks with a cane or is wheelchair bound and spends a lot of time in hospital, as a child Elijah was taunted by his friends and called "Mr. Glass". The character must have been based on Philipp Degan!!!

Now we've had some injury prone players in my time: Jamie "Long, Skinny Tie" Redknapp, Paddy "My Mum's Favourite" Berger, Vegard "Meg 'um" Heggam and so on and so on, but this Degan chap takes the biscuit. He was injured in pre-season; he recovered and played in the Carling Cup tie against Cardiff where he broke 2 ribs. Another lay off ensued but he returned again to face Spurs on Wednesday where, you guessed it, he was injured again. This is ridiculous. Not even Darren Anderton; Mr Sicknote himself, got injured in every game he played. OK, Kevin Gallagher broke his leg for Blackburn on his return form... a broken leg but to mind I've seen him finish a match.

The annoying thing is that we actually need Degan now. Nobody gave a damn when we signed him; it was only when we sold Steve Finnan that I took any notice of him. Arbeloa gets an early season suspension due to his penchant for picking up stupid bookings and when we need Mr. Glass to step into the fray where is he? On the treatment table of course. Now it's not Degan's fault, he obviously doesn't injure himself and it's daft to lay blame at his door (because he'd trip over it and be out for 6 weeks) but why has Benitez bought a player who spent most of last year injured and sold "Mr Reliable" Steve Finnan. When it comes to full backs Rafa isn't so astute.

An evening down the pub turned into a hotbed of football debate that Sky Sports "Sunday Supplement" (with or without Jimmy Hill) would crucify Brian Woolnough to be able to replicate. We headed to a local hostilely for a few beers and to have Arsenal v Wigan providing a football backdrop. We soon realised that the pub's perfectly positioned plasma screens were hindered by not being subscribed to Sky Sports. They had freeview and therefore had Sky Sports News, so we drank and watched the vidiprinter unfold tonight's football story.

Tonight we concluded:

Tony Cottee's ties are so huge that if he and Jamie Redknapp sat next to each other it would give the same effect you get when you walk into a "Hall of Mirrors" at the circus.

20 years ago Johnny Metgod was on those cards we collected in a packet of "Soccer Candy Sticks"

Peter Kenyon looks exactly like Ray Wilkins, if Ray Wilkins had his head in an elastoplast for a week which made it go all shriveled.

We wished that as kids, we'd stolen a friend's sticker book and put Carlton Plamer stickers on each space on the Man United page. Even a Man United fan wished he'd done this.

Arsenal's Jay Simpson had his first initial; "O", deleted by deed poll so that he wasn't tarnished with his father's illegal brush... or knife.. or burglary gloves*

Iain Dowie was sacked by QPR for one reason; the 2nd richest club in the world couldn't have such an ugly manager. Flavio Briatore had one request for Dowie; that he would staple a £20 note to cover his face to show how rich they are. Dowie refused and played hardball, that failed when Briatore correctly pointed out "You're not the only manager around you know". "Shit" thought Dowie "He's right".

FC United of Manchester are the Chelsea of the lower leagues, flashing the cash to buy the best players in their league. Now they can't do it in the Unibond as others have more cash and are now mid-table. Ha!

And that's Tuesday Night Football!

* Allegedly

 

Last week saw new Argentine National Team Coach Diego Maradona visit Melwood (and some 2 bit establishment down the road) to check in on Javier Mascherano. I thought I'd use this opportunity to show a clip of Maradona because there's not much we like more than watching a fat bloke taking the piss out of defenders!

I used to hate Maradona, it obviously stemmed from the infamous "Hand of God" goal against England in the 1986 World Cup. That was around the time I remember first watching football, it was after the '86 Cup Final where Liverpool sealed the double, and as much as the football in that World Cup I remember the sticker book I had where the smaller teams, such as Morocco, had to make do with 2 players per sticker and also that there seemed to be a giant spider above the pitch at the Aztec Stadium!!!

Maradona was just a cheat, he knocked us out off the World Cup by cheating and that's it, sod that 2nd goal, it was all about his handball. He also played for Argentina, what's to like about Argentina? It was all about Brazil for me as a youngster, I used to watch video after video of the old Brazilian teams, Pele was God and the list of amazing players is too long for this 350 word post. Why like Argentina when you've got Brazil? Argentina were just a bunch of island invading cheats, Brazil's rivals and England's enemies and Maradona WAS Argentina when it came to football.

And then you grow up. You like your legends to have a bit of an edge, a nasty streak, the "troubled genius" syndrome or the fact that they're just plain old bonkers!!! Sadly Maradona become a caricature of himself due to a large appetite for food and also South America's other famous export. The clip show's him at his skilful best but also kicking people in the nuts, rolling around in mud, yelling into the camera, doing kick-ups with water bottles and generally being a mad bastard!

(VOICEOVER) "The red half of Liverpool is in chaos. Numerous burglaries have left the Liverpool players fearing for their possessions, their signed shirts, their jewelery. They take to the field knowing their houses may get burgled senseless. The police are useless, they still haven't banged up Arsenal for robbing us back in 1989, 19 years and no conviction against Graham, Smith & Thomas, although Thomas did do community service in Liverpool's midfield. This is no time for police, its beyond that. We need to hark back to age where crime fighters came in pairs, they came in flares, and had facial hair...s. It's time for Souness & McDermott - The Perma Kops".

Cue 70's Cop Show Music and scenes of Souness & McDermott scoring goals and chasing scallies down Anfield Road.

Graeme "Souey" Souness & Terry Mac are at Anfield for a meeting with the club's owners.

GS: Och, what do these Yanks want Mac? I'm working hard to perfect my nonchalont but authoritative television style.

TM: Aye man, I'm trying to talk KK into going back to Newcastle, I'd been there so long I've no idea what to do now.

A tubby American bursts open an office door.

Tom Hicks: You guys the "Perma Kops"? Get you asses in here.

GS: (Quietly) he talks to me like that again and I'll jib him.

TH: Look guys the namby pamby police force won't do a damn thing about all these robberies and we can't stand for it anymore. Some douche-bag is running round robbing our players houses, scaring the bejesus out of their families. I mean they're stealing from great heroes... and Lucas Leiva. It's gotta stop.

Another man swivels round in a chair stroking a cat

George Gillet: And you boys are the the ones who are gonna stop it. Will you make Liverpool FC proud again?

Souey & Terry Mac look at each other and then at the Americans

Together: We'll do it

They bound out of the office, their flares billowing as they go.

TH: Jesus H Christ George, there's Soul-Glow all over the chairs!

End

Another day, another reason to hate Alex Ferguson. After his refusal to speak to the BBC following allegations about his son's transfer dealings (still no libel suit Fergie?) Sir Whinge-a-lot is giving Sky Sports the silent treatment. The reason for this? Scurrilous remarks about Ferguson's kin? Spreading rumours that he smears his nose with jam so that wasps come and sting it to get that red glow? No, not that interesting I'm afraid. Firstly, Phil Thompson decreed that Wayne Rooney deserved a straight red for kissing his clubs badge during the match against Everton. "Once a Blue, Always a Blue" Rooney didn't deserve a red card, maybe some emergency surgery to stop the burning caused by it's acidic taste though. Secondly, Paul Merson must have been back on the "Russell Dust" to even think about saying that a Rooney tackle should have resulted in a sending off. How dare he propose an opinion, how dare he do the job he's paid for? What in shitting crikey is going on?

Ferguson thinks he's bigger than football, no one is allowed to stress an opinion about him or his players no matter how rational or well balanced the argument. He can talk about other club's players, he can complain that red cards weren't shown against his opponents but don't you even think it about United. He can talk about players he wants to sign, tapping them up, e.g. Berbatov, Horse-Face, Stam, Benzema, Hargreaves, but Madrid can't court Ronaldo in the same way, they're bang out of order!

Ferguson will never be respected as much as Shankly, Paisley, Busby or Stein; his ego is too big. He thinks he IS Manchester United. Shankly knew that the FANS owned Liverpool FC, NOT him. Ferguson is a hypocritical, walking ego. Did Bob Paisley ever go up to collect the European Cup? Did he balls, Ferguson was up there in 1999, making sure he was centre stage and getting the ego boost he craves.

Well you keep shunning the interviews Ferguson, if I never hear your poisonous tones again it will still be too soon.

In my match report on the Wigan game I implied that Steve Bruce was mistaken when he said that neither of Antonio Valencia's infringements were worthy of a yellow card. Having seen the incidents again yesterday I would like to reiterate my comments, Bruce WAS wrong when he said that NEITHER of them were yellow cards but he's correct about the first one. Valencia was booked for breaking out of the wall too early but he actually rushed out AFTER Xabi Alonso had tapped to ball for Gerrard to shoot, Gerrard was too busy looking at referee Alan Wiley and asking him to get the ball back to realise the kick had been taken. A similar thing happened at Newcastle last year when Lucas tapped the ball when Gerrard wasn't looking but that time the ball ended up in the back of the net (see vid below). So, I'm sorry Mr Bruce, I was wrong and I'm sure you can see the funny side now. You can't? Oh come on, like Danny Baker once said on his "Own Goals & Gaffes" video; we're not laughing AT you, we're laughing TOWARDS you.

Why is everyone trying to kick seven shades of Sh...eringham out of everyone's favourite long range lobber; Xabi Alonso? It's bad enough that Rafa was trying to herd him out of the club so that he could buy Villa's current left back Barry Gareth but now to add to that heartache all his North West neighbours are being really nasty to him. First it was Ivan Drago look-a-like Vidic flying in with a "Fashanu Elbow" in his team's defeat at Anfield, that was followed by Timmy "Look how hard I am as I punch this flag" Cahill flying in with 2 feet in his team's defeat at Goodison.  Manchester City's "Beast of Buenos Aries" Pablo Zabaleta followed suit in his team's defeat at the City of Manchester Stadium and then this Saturday; Wigan's Antonio Valencia made it a hat trick of crazy lunges that resulted in a red in his team's defeat at Anfield. See a recurring theme here? See a pattern emerge?

The moral of the story is thus: Assault Alonso and your team will be defeated. Think of it as a new superstition, like wearing lucky pants or punching a Neville brother, trying to hurt Xabi Alonso is bad for your club's health.

This has got to be a piss-take!!! Ok, he's playing quite well for England but why would we need another striker who doesn't score? It seems to be "Hug a Heskey" week with every journo and his mutt ready to give lip service to the "burly striker" on his exploits for England. Now fair enough he played well on Wednesday night but talk about a massive step backwards if we signed him, we're apparently competing with Villa & Spurs for his signature and that says it all. I've got nothing against the guy and did very well for us in the year we won Houllier's Treble in 2001 but if we're re-signing Heskey then UEFA might as well already put us in the draw for the Champions League qualifiers come July because it's not a signing that shouts "Title Challengers".

Christ on a moped, it's happened again. 3 times Torres has now come back from International duty with an injury. Could he not just bring a straw donkey an some duty free cigs like other people bring back from Spain? What the hell can be happening over there that forces him to get injured? Is the Spanish coach Del Bosque a closet Manc, sneaking into Torres's room in the middle of the night to tamper with his thigh muscles? Is it that weird grass that they have in Spain? Whatever it is it means that El Nino is the new Jamie Redknapp, so allergic to his national shirt that it brings him out in a nasty bout of hamstring tearitis or knee ligamentorea. Nando is now likely to miss the games against Wigan, Portsmouth, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid. It must be heartbreaking for him to miss the chance to play against his old club as I get the impression he'd have got a good reception from the Atletico fans. More crucial from Liverpool's point of view is that he's missing the Chelsea game. Torres scored his first goal for Liverpool against those pesky Russians and notched again in the second leg of the Champions League Semi-Final so Robbie Keane is going to have to fill that void and it would be very timely for Gerrard to score against those dogs he once flirted with.

Ryan Babel may get a chance to impress in a more attacking role with Torres missing, oh crap, he's brought an injury back from his trip to Holland. I won't go into what most people bring back from Amsterdam, this is a family show.

Oh it's all alright now, UEFA have realised that the moving of the match would be a logistcal nightmare matched only by Michel Platini trying to stick William Gaillard up his nose. Common sense has prevailed and Atletico will host Liverpool at the Vicente Calderon Stadium and then the propsed home stadium ban imposed on Atletico will go ahead unless Los Rojiblanco's (I've been Learning the Lingo with Torres) win their appeal.

So UEFA decide to hand out a punishment that means something following the pittance of a fine they inflicted upon Croatia. Atletico Madrid have been fined £120,000 and been ordered to play their next 3 Champions League home games away from their Vicente Calderon stadium, at least 300km away, following the racist abuse and crowd trouble that occurred during their Champions League match with Marseille. Unfortunately, UEFA's decision has come far too late for the Liverpool fans that have already booked and paid for their travel arrangements to get to Madrid. With hotels and flights already organised, Liverpool fans now face the added cost and ball-ache of travelling to wherever the game is going to be played instead with Seville, Valencia & Zaragoza being mooted as possible venues. Wait a minute; fans can't start planning how they're going to get to the city where the match will be played in because it hasn't been decided yet? It may not even come to it with Atletico having appealed against the decision? So the Liverpool fans are left in limbo not knowing if the match will be played in Madrid or on the east cost in Valencia, the south-west coast in Seville or up towards the north-east in Zaragoza? UEFA once again handling situations so well. If the game is moved then hopefully UEFA will use the £120,000 fine to arrange transportation for the Liverpool fans to get to the match... JESUS, a pig has just flown into my bedroom window!!!

Just a quick footnote on this, after the FA said they don't want England's friendly against Spain to take place at the Santiago Bernebeu, the spokesman for the Spanish FA; Jorge Carretero, had this to say:

"The fans at the Bernabeu are excellent, just as they are in the whole of Spain."

Hmm, how did you manage to keep a straight face when coming up with that pearler, Jorge? If that flying pig had flown into a Barcelona fan's bedroom window they may well have had the desire to cut its head off to throw at an ex-player.

So we're off to White Hart Lane in the 4th Round of the Carling Cup. It will be the 2nd time we play Tottenham in 11 or 12 days as we're due down there on 1st November in the league too, just like last year when we played Arsenal 3 times in the space of about 7 hours or something ridiculous. I doubt the league game will have much bearing on the outcome of the cup match given that the line-ups will be greatly changed. I remember the penalty shoot out victory over Spurs at the Quarter Final stage of the competition in 2004/05 en route to the final, a nice little omen for us. Not that I'm superstitious or anything...

Here's the team to face Crewe Alexandra tonight:

Cavalieri, Insua, Hyypia (c), Agger, Degen, El Zhar, Plessis, Lucas, Pennant, Ngog, Babel.
Subs: Gulacsi, Dossena, Keane, Torres, Alonso, Carragher, Skrtel

In Rafa's 1st year when we reached the final of this competition he used the young English lads all the way through to the final. It seems as though the Carling Cup is now to be used to give a game to the fringe squad players or those recovering from injury. Only Ryan Babel has regularly played so far this season.

Sami Hyypia has been left out of Rafa Benitez's 25 man Champions League squad. This season sees a new law in place that means each club has to name 4 players that were brought through the clubs youth ranks and another 4 who have been brought up through youth ranks of another English club. Hyypia has seen Carragher, Skrtal and Daniel Agger picked inthe centre half positions despite Agger not featuring so far this season. Benitez has predictably rubbished the law saying that it doesn't make sense in European competition but could understand it being implemented in the Premiership. Hyypia is seemingly upset and not beeing told about this before the transfer window closing and that it seems strange that the club rejected offers for him only to see himself left out of the CL squad.

Hyypia could be named in the squad for the knockout stages, should we make it, when a new list is entered. Fortunately for us we know that Sami leaves his Champions League goals for the knock-out stages such as those against Juventus in 2005 and Arsenal last season.

Terrible news in the build up to the most important game of the season next Saturday against Manchester United. Steven Gerrard has ruled himself out of the match following his double groin operation. We will certainly miss our captain in looking to get our first league win against "The Scum" since Benitez joined the club and this news is compounded with the likelihood that Fernando Torres will miss the game after limping out of our last game against Aston Villa. This leaves a lot of pressure on Robbie Keane and it remains to be seen if the Irishman will be playing a lone role up front, if Kuyt will play a more cetral role or, as wa sthe case against villa, David Ngog will lead the line. In any way, without the match-winning ability of Gerrard & Torres the rest of the team really have to step up to the plate.

Liverpool reserves got their campaign off to a successful start with a 1-0 win away at Middlesbrough. Jordy Brouwer headed in the winner in the 1st half to give the Reds 3 points to start their defence of the Premier Reserve Leage North title and Philip Degan played the whole of the 2nd half in his return to competitive football. Another trip to the north east lies in store for the 2nd string with Sunderland playing hosts on Wednesday 17th September. The reserve's first home game will be the "mini derby" against Everton on 14th October.

Is Hungarian the new Spanish? It certainly seems to be the case as a 4th Hungarian arrived at Melwood today. Zsolt Poloskei, a 17 year old Midfielder arrived from MTK Hungaria on a season long loan. He joins countrymen Krisztian Nemeth, Peter Gulacsi, Andras Simon at the club. So after Spanish replaced French and now Hungarian seems the nationality du jour I wonder what's going to be next?

As the transfer window was finally shut last night Liverpool welcomed 3 new players and 2 exited out the back. The expected signing of Albert Riera was supplemented with the permanent signing of Hungarian goalkeeper Peter Gulacsi; who had spent last season on loan in the reserves, and 18 year old Brazilian Striker Vitor Flora, who can cut through defences like a hot knife through butter, sorry. Nothing surprising here then, the Riera deal was pretty much done and dusted and Rafa likes to sign a few foreign youngsters each year to see how they get on in the reserves before shipping them out on loan.

On to the 2 outgoings and mixed feelings. Andriy Voronin failed to impress anyone with his football skills last year but his ponytail and his wife dressing like a leopard certainly raised a smile and he's off on a season-long loan to Hertha Berlin, his wife is currently in talks to buy out the remainder of her contract from Knowsley Safari Park. Not particularly bothered one way or another with this one, i'd be happy if he went permanently for a couple of million and we made some money on him but he'll end up like the Le Tallec's & Diao's of the club; out on loan with us payimg the majority of their wages til their contract expires. Steve Finnan leaving is a little upsetting, Mr Reliable obviously slipped down in Raf's pecking order last season with Arbeloa usurping him and Finnan's injuries not helping. I would much rather have kept Finnan as I'm not sold on Arbeloa yet. He seems to be easily turned and struggles against pace as we saw as Keiron Richardson sucked him into many fouls on the opening day. With the unknown and unseen Degan the only real back up at right back I'd have much rather kept Finnan. Howver, when a club comes along with an offer of £UNDISCLOSED, its very hard to turn them down.

Christ on a bike, this one is dragging on isn’t it? Going ahead. On hold. New designs. Planning permission granted. Higher capacity. Planning permission granted. Lower capacity. Planning permission granted. What the hell is going on? Now the Credit Crunch has meant that the building work has been put on hold for the short term, nice and vague timescale there. No need to fret though because according to the club’s statement they will be using the time productively to revisit the plans for the stadium capacity to be increased to 73,000 seats. More planning permission needed?

Why don’t we put the new stadium on hold permanently and pump £50-£75 million into buying some absolutely world class wingers and full backs to complement the world class spine of the team. I don’t really want see Dirk Kuyt’s first touch flying out of play into the stands of the new stadium, whether it be a 60, 65 0r 73,000 seat capacity.

So an 8million deal for Albert Riera has been agreed with Espanyol? Sorry if I don’t start jumping up and down with excitement but to me this seems like the signing of another average “squad” player who will help cement our recent 4^th place league position rather than enhance our team into genuine title contenders. Riera, Benayoun, Pennant, Kuyt are all average wide players and other nothing like the threat off the other title chasing clubs. I’ve barely seen any of our wide players actually attack the full back, get down the by-line and get in a cross. Babel finally did on Wednesday night and it created the winning goal. I had high hopes for Babel this year but if Riera is a left-sided player then is Babel going to see his chances restricted? Hopefully he will be moved over to the right in the place of Kuyt, except for in the Champions League of course where somehow Kuyt has the Midas touch. With Babel constantly looking to get the ball on his right foot hopefully he will be attacking the opposition and hitting the byline. Hopefully seems to be the key word there doesn’t it?

Marseille, PSV & Atletico Madrid stand in the way of Liverpool progressing to the knock out stages of this seasons Champions League. The stand out tie is the return to Vicente Calderon Stadium for Fernando Torres just over a year after he left his home town club. Marseille and PSV should hold no surprises having played each of them within the last two campaigns. A tough group with all 3 sides surely to be testing but we managed to avoid any really tricky teams but at the same time unfortunately were handed none of the minnows either. We’ll have to see how each team starts the new season before we get a sense of how difficult each games will be. Thankfully there are no long trips to Ukraine or Turkey and from here on in all roads lead to Rome.

Reports are suggesting that Rafa is once again weighing up whether to make a bid for Espanyol's Albert Riera. The ex-Man City winger has publicly stated that he'd relish a move to Liverpool and that move could now come about with the prolonged "Gareth Barry Saga" seemingly no nearer to ending in a move away from Villa Park for the England International. The signing of an out-and-out winger would surely see Xabi Alonso staying the club but trying to second guess Rafa isn't an easy thing. Since day 1 of the speculation about the Barry/Alonso transfers I have felt we should keep Alonso and that the money being muted for the Barry transfer could be used to bring in a world class winger but not necessarily on the left. On the right hand side Dirk Diggler still flatters to deceive, although his goals in the Champions League soon make me shut up, and hopefully Ryan Babel can fill the void on the left. Rafa clearly wants some reinforcements on the left hand side and Riera seems to be a real possibility. Is he any better than Babel & Benayoun? Well that Riera-mains to be seen (Sorry).

Javier Mascherano's Agentina marched into the final of the Olympic Games whilst Lucas Leiva was sent off for a foul on his teammate. Rafa had earlier in the day said he had no prefernce over who won as it meant that one player would be happy and in the final and one would be back at the club. Come on Rafa who are you kidding? There can't be many Liverpool fans who weren't hoping that Argentina would be knocked out so that Masch was on his way back to us sooner than Lucas!!!

Formed 1892. 1901- 1st League title of 18. The Kop. Shankly Arrives- promotion, first FA & UEFA Cups. Shankly Retires, Paisley takes charge- 1st European Cup & adds 2 more. Fagan’s Treble. Dalglish – Heysel, The Double & Hillsborough. Souness- high price transfers, low league finishes. Evans- Return to the boot room, but no return to glory & the last day of The Kop. Houllier’s 2001 Cup Treble. The Rafa-lution- Istanbul: We’ve won it 5 times!!!