Liverpool FC

When David Beckham broke his foot before the 2002 World Cup Finals it created a new type of injury. Player's no longer suffered from a broken foot, they broke a metatarsal. Some newspaper's showed diagrams of the human foot, presumably because the great unwashed wouldn't be able to understand the term "The 5 long bones in the foot". Well the new injury du jour has to be suffering from Kidney Stones. Now this isn't necessarily one for the players but its the must have ailment for all managers/coaches this festive season. Firstly "Massive" Phil Scolari was in hospital prior to the West Ham match with pain caused by kidney stones. Fellipe (as Butch Wilkins calls him) explained how the doctors told him that this pain was similar, if not worse, than a woman goes through when giving birth. "Large" Phil went on to explain how he wouldn't know this because he can't give birth. Another key anatomy lesson for us dimwits.

"Enormous" Phil was joined in the kidney stone club by our own Rafa Benitez. Rafa was in hospital overnight having minor surgery relating to kidney stones. Obviously my best wishes go out to Rafa and hopefully he'll be suitably recovered in time for the Arsenal match on Sunday. However, these 2 bouts of illness do beg the question:

Kidney Stones: The Cause or Effect of dropping points at home?

Lucas isn't from Nazereth and I'm not suggesting we crucify him, he's from Dourados in Brazil and his performances this season certainly have been Dour. I'm not using this post to slate Lucas, but I do believe Benitez is not doing him, or anyone else, any favours by continually playing him.

When we signed Lucas he was captain of Brazil's Under 20's South American Championship winning side in 2007 and was recipient of Brazil's Player of the Year award a year earlier. At the start of last season he put in some good, solid performances and I took to Lucas to begin with. This was probably because his performances were contrasting to Momo Sissoko's desire to give the ball away to an opponent just so he could do a double-jointed slide tackle to win the ball back. Unfortunately Lucas's form dropped and its continued in that vein this season.

The fans amazement at Lucas's inclusion in the team turned to anger on Saturday when he was picked ahead of Xabi Alonso. Alonso's touchline warm-up triggered the loudest singing of the afternoon, the entire stadium sang for the missing midfield maestro. Lucas can't have been oblivious to this or to the chorus of boos that greeted Benitez's decision to withdraw Mascherano instead of Lucas when Alonso did enter the fold. I wasn't angry at Lucas, he's trying his hardest, he didn't stop tackling and closing down opponents but it's evident that with every misplaced pass that was met with groans from the crowd, he retreated into a shell. He didn't want to do the right thing; he only wanted to avoid doing the wrong thing.

Lucas isn't good enough... yet, but if Benitez keeps forcing the issue and playing him ahead of recognised first teamers then the crowds patience with the 21 year old will diminish quicker than his confidence. A young man adapting to a new country, language and lifestyle could easily look to retreat back to familiar surroundings away from England. That would be a real shame, but Benitez's continued incorrect handling of the situation would be shameful.

Has anyone seen the film "Unbreakable"? (If not, don't watch the vids below!) It stars Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson and is about a guy with a bone disease (Jackson) trying to find a man who can't be hurt (Willis). Jackson's character "Elijah" has a disease that means his bones are very brittle and the slightest impact means they break; he walks with a cane or is wheelchair bound and spends a lot of time in hospital, as a child Elijah was taunted by his friends and called "Mr. Glass". The character must have been based on Philipp Degan!!!

Now we've had some injury prone players in my time: Jamie "Long, Skinny Tie" Redknapp, Paddy "My Mum's Favourite" Berger, Vegard "Meg 'um" Heggam and so on and so on, but this Degan chap takes the biscuit. He was injured in pre-season; he recovered and played in the Carling Cup tie against Cardiff where he broke 2 ribs. Another lay off ensued but he returned again to face Spurs on Wednesday where, you guessed it, he was injured again. This is ridiculous. Not even Darren Anderton; Mr Sicknote himself, got injured in every game he played. OK, Kevin Gallagher broke his leg for Blackburn on his return form... a broken leg but to mind I've seen him finish a match.

The annoying thing is that we actually need Degan now. Nobody gave a damn when we signed him; it was only when we sold Steve Finnan that I took any notice of him. Arbeloa gets an early season suspension due to his penchant for picking up stupid bookings and when we need Mr. Glass to step into the fray where is he? On the treatment table of course. Now it's not Degan's fault, he obviously doesn't injure himself and it's daft to lay blame at his door (because he'd trip over it and be out for 6 weeks) but why has Benitez bought a player who spent most of last year injured and sold "Mr Reliable" Steve Finnan. When it comes to full backs Rafa isn't so astute.

Robbie Keane and Albert Riera are becoming quite the double act this season. It's not because Spanish winger is setting up goal after goal for the Irishman. It's not that they have a 2 man comedy show completely sold out for the Christmas Season at The Empire. Nope, it's because game after game when scoreboard shows there's about 25 minutes remaining everyone knows that they'll be trudging off to the sidelines, a quick applause for the fans chanting their name, before watching the rest of the game from the dug out.

This "Statutory Substitution Scheme" of Benitez's has annoyed me for some time and it did so again on Saturday. Against Atletico, he withdraws Keane for David Ngog when we're a goal behind. On Saturday, against a West Brom defence looking stretched and tired he decided to again haul Keane off, therefore denying him an opportunity to get a hat-trick in front of the Kop. Now, I know there is little room for sentiment in football but this may have been that little room.

Are substitutions not used to add surprise to proceedings, to shake things up a bit? If the oppo know before the game that on the hour mark Keane & Riera are going to be coming off then they can plan on how to deal with likely players taking their place.

Rafa's reasoning is that he wants to add some pace with about 20 minutes remaining when defences are tiring and that makes sense; but why isn't it the slowest player on the pitch, Dirk Kuyt, who makes way? I'm not back on my "Have a Dig at Dirk" days of a few months ago but when Babel is introduced it's never on the right hand side for Dirk but usually on the left for Riera. On Saturday surely it was a perfect opportunity for Torres & Keane to have 20 minutes playing together against a tiring defence? All I can think is that "The Trying Dutchman" loves leaving the pitch last whilst applauding the fans so much that he has a clause written into his contract!

Is Man City Ed; Bazinho, the new Wesley Snipes? Sure the resemblance isn't there and I'm not for one minute suggesting the Mr Tench's taxes aren't in order, it's Snipe's character Sidney Deane from "White Men Can't Jump" that reminds me of him. His recent post stated that watching Liverpool was a fate worse than the one that meets the hot cheerleader in clichéd horror movies because, in a nutshell, we are boring to watch. Like Woody Harrelson's character asked Sidney Dean in the aforementioned film, would Bazinho rather "Look good and lose, rather than look ugly and win?". I'm not having a pop at Baz here, he thinks watching Liverpool is boring which is fair enough, but do the ends justify the means?

Under Houllier I thought we were boring, playing long ball, counter attacking football most of the time but Rafa changes style to suit the opposition, going to Chelsea we did defend but only after taking the game to them and scoring the early goal. I'm not here to defend Benitez, he can do that himself by pointing at the league table. In the mid-nineties under Roy Evans we played free-flowing attacking football and finished 3rd or 4th because our defence was as water tight as a 10p roll of toilet paper. After those years of great football and scant reward I'm more than happy for Rafa to upset the football purists to lead us to success and silverware. The silverware that already includes winning the greatest champions league final ever and arguably the most exciting FA Cup Final.

I will concede I'd rather see a more exciting blend of football but it's surely about getting the right mix of attacking bravado and actually winning games. Chelsea were labeled as boring when they won their league titles under Mourihno but I'll wager that not one fan wanted to send the trophy back as they won "ugly". If Bazinho is insistent on exciting football at all times then we'll have to leave him with his empty trophy cabinet and recent years of mid-table finishes... and the odd relegation.

... at what age is it no longer acceptable to wear a full replica kit?

There's a photo of me as an 8 year old on my way to watch Liverpool v Luton Town and I'm wearing a full Liverpool strip, Liverpool tracksuit top, Liverpool scarf, Liverpool hat and as it was an evening match, Liverpool gloves. Now when is the cut off point where you no longer want to do that, I mean I looked like I'd covered myself in glue and ran amok in the club shop! Nowadays I don't even wear a replica shirt to the match but as I kid I wanted Liverpool everything, my walls were covered with posters of players past and present and when I went to football training I'd wear any of that season's full kits. It's not that I don't have the kits anymore either, as my birthday is in August my mum buys me a full Liverpool kit, every year without fail, for about 20 years now, it's like a tradition! But when I go playing 6-a-side I don't wear a full strip, I might wear the top, or the shorts, or the socks but I purposely avoid looking like I'm wearing a full kit. Why is this? When I'm with friends we point out when kids are wearing a full kit; "Hey Steve, full kit", "Brilliant, socks pulled up without shin pads too". Now is this done by parents to hammer home their kid's footballing loyalty or is this what the kids want?

The only full kit I've worn recently is a Brazil kit for our all-conquering 6-a-side team "Brazil Nil" but a Liverpool kit? I just can't remember. Do we stop when we realise that we're never going to play for our beloved clubs? Is it so miserable swine don't look at us and say "Look at him, thinks he's bloody Gerrard" as we sky another sitter over the bar on the local astro. Well whatever the reason, when I play this week I will don a full Liverpool kit and let's see what reaction it gets.