Football Blog - Catflap XI

Flora and Fauna XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:36:03 GMT

When he was first appointed England boss, Fabio Capello was unlucky enough to have even his mother questioned by the tabloid press. Even worse news for Don Fabio were the quotes she came out with. “He was always a mummy’s boy, being a single child,” she said. “He is tender like a mimosa flower.” Like a flower? Not brutal and murderous like The Godfather at all. Oh well. Here, then, is our…

CATFLAP FLORA AND FAUNA XI

Honorary Degree XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:08:44 GMT

We see England and Liverpool's "Stevie G" was recently given an honourary fellowship from Liverpool John Moores University for his contribution to sport. But before he starts feeling too smug about his new qualification, it might be worth telling him that even full time buffoon Sepp Blatter has an Honorary Doctrate of Science from De Montfort University in Leicester, and Italian referee Pierluigi Collina is a Doctor of Sport Science at Hull University. And if those aren't the two most random facts you'll read all day then we'd love to know what is.

Anyway, because we don't often miss a chance to rehash old material, here is our somewhat overly attack-minded...

Catflap Honorary Degree XI

Farmyard XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:06:24 GMT

You might have read the quaint little story recently of the piglet in Thirsk that was scared of mud. We don’t want to sound like we’re reading a bedtime story, but it seems this little piggy went to the market and got himself some Wellington boots to overcome its fear. Or rather his owners did. They saw that poor Cinders was suffering from mysophobia, the fear of dirt, and gave him a miniature set of Wellies. Since then he’s been like a pig in, yeah you saw it a mile off…Anyway, in honour of young Cinders here is our...

CATFLAP FARMYARD XI

Breakfast XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:00:33 GMT

According to new research, stories that begin with “according to new research this week” tend to be rubbish. But we’re going to carry on anyway, as this week said research revealed that breakfast is the most important meal of the day when it comes to losing weight. Apparently eating big in the morning means you won’t each as much during the day. So while we go off to stock up on porridge and black pudding, here is our...

CATFLAP BREAKFAST XI

Money XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:52:35 GMT

This year saw the 41st anniversary of the installation of the world’s first cash machine at a branch of Barclays Bank in Enfield, North London. As soon as it opened, apparently, a large queue formed, not because people were curious to see how it worked but because the woman at the front insisted on getting a mini-statement, a balance and ordering a new chequebook, before putting her card back in again because she forgot to get any money out in the first place. The cow. Anyway, without further Freddy Adu, here’s our…

CATFLAP MONEY XI

Sadomasochism XI

Lex | CatflapFootball.com | Football-Blog — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:45:02 GMT

According to FIA president Max Mosley sadomasochism is an entirely normal, natural and healthy part of a person’ sex. Hmmm. Each to their own and all that, but the best bit about the whole case was that he accused the News of the World, of demeaning and humiliating him and “upsetting’ his family in the process. Great. Nothing to do with him forking out for a gaggle of hookers, some whips and uniforms and then being thrashed on his leathery 68-year-old backside, oh no. Without further a Freddy, then, let us present our…

CATFLAP SADOMASOCHISM XI