The Football Blog

How difficult can it be to clap properly?

Ten Premier League titles, five FA Cups, two European Cups, two League Cups, one Cup Winners' Cup and a shed load of goals. You'd think after all of that success, Sir Alex Ferguson would know how to celebrate properly. But, alas, no. Not one jot.

Instead Fergie greets dramatic late winners in the same manner that he always has done, like an excited five-year-old overjoyed at the prospect of meeting his favourite Power Ranger. This clip in question, from last season, demonstrates this perfectly (on 50 seconds).

The delayed reaction, the giddy jump, the pixie-like steps to the edge of technical area, the vigorous chewing on his trademark gum, then the cherry-on-top moment - the ridiculous mini-claps. What the hell are they all about? As a 66-year-old man, we can forgive the delay and the awkwardness displayed by running and jumping. But clapping? How difficult can it be to clap properly? He looks like he's failing miserably in an attempt to kill a small insect that's just bitten him.

And not forgetting of course, the breathless walk back to his seat, only to ask Brian Kidd/Steve McClaren/Carlos Quieroz/Mike Phelan "who the f**k scored that then?."

Sir Alex Ferguson. Great manager. Can't celebrate for shit...

Again, it's not Monday. But we're angry...

Roy Keane seems only too happy to call some of the most important people in football clowns, so we don't see why we should be any different. Not that the FA are in any way as important as they think they are. As for clowns though, they make Krusty, Coco and that one from Stephen King's IT look like rational-thinking human beings.

Not that that is some kind of newsflash. The country's fans have known for years that the bunch of sorry so-and-so's running English football are fools. If it's not conspiring to appoint the wrong England manager time and time again, it's failing to show any form of control over the players who continuously show disregard to the game's rules.

OK so it's not Monday but there's a rant needing to be had...

Undisclosed fees. What's the deal with them? Seriously? The whole point of transfers in football is so we can laugh out loud when someone shells out £6m on Titus Bramble,  or nod approvingly when some wily old manager brings in the next Patrick Vieira for a tidy £2m.