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Ron didn't appreciate Andy's offer for a loan of his Clio...

Everyone's favourite greasy-haired Portuguese winger that's not Luis Figo talks explains his crash...

Almost a month after Ronny smashed his £200k Ferrari GTB into a tunnel wall, our friends at Nuts Magazine (out today) caught up with the winker and asked him about it. Ronaldo smashed his two-day old Ferrari into the wall of a tunnel on his way to training. About the crash he said: "I made a mistake and everybody wants to talk about it in the papers, but it was an accident – these things happen to everyone."

Maybe so, but a 200k motor? The Manchester United winger escaped from the wreckage with nothing hurt apart from his pride. However, the Portuguese star doesn’t feel his driving skills should be brought into question, “…I still think I’m a good driver. That’s the first time I’ve ever had an accident." You’re probably thinking that £200k is a drop in the ocean for the multi-millionaire, but he doesn’t see it that way, “I understand the value of money – a footballer’s career doesn’t go on forever. I spend for the short term sometimes but I know what money means." He certainly does. In August, he bought a new registration plate reading “CR7” for the bargain price of £150k.

Maybe “P3 NIS” would have been a better option. It’s nice to see we’re all in the same boat when it comes to the credit crunch...


The emergency landing of US Airways flight 1549 had inspired Ronaldo...

To the surprise of no one, the Ranger Rover comes out on top...

Those survey-happy folk at Nuts magazine (out today) have conducted their yearly "Premier League stars and their cars" top ten poll, with the beast of the road, the Range Rover, coming out on top for a second year in a row. With a BHP of 385, a top speed of 140mph and an acceleration of 0-60 in 7.6 secs, the £63,895 vehicle rates above the BMW X5, Porsche Cayenne, Aston Martin DB9 and Bentley Continental GT.

The likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, John Terry, Nemanja Vidic, Xabi Alonso and Robbie Keane can apparently spotted whizzing round in the motor that guzzles more than a Raymond van Barneveld after a month in the Sahara. Here's the top five...

1       Range Rover Sport
2       BMW X5
3       Porsche Cayenne
4       Aston Martin DB9
5       Bentley Continental GT


We don't have a picture of the smash, so here's an impression of how his shunt would have looked...

It turns out he's not invincible after all...

As you've no doubt already read, Cristiano Ronaldo had a lucky escape when he managed drive his Ferrari into a tunnel underneath Manchester Airport this week. Luckily (we mean that) the tricky winger emerged from the wreckage completely unscathed. The same can't be said for his car however, as he managed to completely destroy the entire front-end of his vehicle, and send one of his wheels flying off the car. Which is a shame in any situation, but particularly when your car happens to be a Ferrari 599 GTB, worth around £200k

Onlookers said that Ronaldo smashed the front of his car straight into a barrier as he was on his way to training. Luckily for him, team-mate Edwin van der Sar was following just behind and took him in to training. His car looks to be getting a one-way trip to the scrapyard though.

The authorities are still trying to find out the reason for the accident. Maybe he was still depressed about losing to Derby? Who cares. All we know is that it's already led to one crap joke that's bound to find it's way into your text message inbox any time soon...

"Ronaldo crashes Ferrari in to a tunnel. Apparently the wall wasn't ten yards back..."

Badumtish...


"Aw cheers la!"

It's Wayne's Chrimbo present for Coleen...

Up and down the country people may have been tightening their belts this last Christmas, but clearly someone forgot to tell Wayne Rooney. He's gone and splashed out £200,000 on the new edition Bentley for Coleen, as they spend their first Christmas  together as a married couple. Coleen could barely hide her delight at getting the new car, even though she already knew she was getting it, " Its such a lovely present. It's the updated version of the one I have now, but in a different colour."

Its not the first time that the couple have splashed the cash on cars for each other, after he bought her a £60,000 Porsche 911 for her 19th birthday, and Coleen got him an Aston Martin Vanquish before the World Cup. In fact Wayne has the most expensive collection of cars in the country, owning over £750,000 worth. Well it certainly puts the mangy collection of socks we got for Christmas in perspective...



The new series of Transformers was a bit shit...

David James and the word reliant in the same sentence? Surely not...

Back when we used to play football (not that long ago, honest), the worst player in training would be thrown into the biggest, muddiest puddle we could find. No such larking around for the chaps at Portsmouth though, who, as David James here perfectly demonstrates, force the biggest loser of the day to ride home in a Robin Reliant. Brilliantly, according to the Mirror it plays animal noises from a loudspeaker when the engine is turned on.

Needless to say we think it's brilliant. Though we've a funny feeling this instance won't have been the first time Mrs James has seen her hubby park the Reliant on the drive...


 

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