The Football Blog

Whatever next?

We've just heard from our pals at Carling that they are offering Spurs and Man Utd fans a unique chance to design their own on pitch advertising banners during the Carling Cup final on Sunday. They think of everything don't they?

Lee Dixon needs glasses, Ronaldo's goal wasn't that good, and Roy Keane opens up...

1. Lee Dixon is blind. If we're not wrong, he said this on MOTD2 last night, "Bellamy's scored a good goal, he's hit it well and it might've taken a little deflection." A little deflection!?

2. Ronaldo's free-kick wasn't that good. More to the point, Paul Robinson's goalkeeping for it wasn't too great either...

3. We can't wait for the Champions League. With the Premier League title race all but over, and having spent all of Sunday reading whopping great previews of the European Cup, this week promises to be a corker.

4. Keano's back with a bang. As if he was going to stay quiet any longer. The Irish Times got the exclusive on Thursday, with a well-balanced and interesting article. Then the News of the World rehashed some of the quotes on Sunday and, well, you know the rest...

5. Rushden and Diamonds are ruthless gets. With Weymouth's first team players on strike following non-payment of their wages, manager Alan Lewer was forced to field a side comprising of under-18's. The Diamonds thumped them 9-0. Ouch.

Bored with the football here at home? Want some new pub ammo to spout confidently to your mates? Then fear not, as like Phileas Fogg on Red Bull, we scour the globe to bring you the best craic from Planet Football...

In this week’s Catflap Magazine…

Ahead of Guus Hiddink's first game in charge of Chelsea this weekend we give you the only real facts you need to know about the Dutchman. Forget about his impressive managerial CV, did you know that he has a museum devoted to him in Holland? Or that he knows how to milk a cow? Also, following shocking allegations from Roman Pavlyuchenko that England's food and women aren't a patch on Russia's, we pit both countries head to head to find out who really rules. And if that's not enough, we've got Peter Crouch's dire new mobile phone ad. Trust us, it's as bad as it sounds...