Everton FC

To be honest, I've been putting off writing match reports for the last two games against Bolton and Fulham. Not only have I been as busy as Harry Redknapp, but the two matches were so unutterably dull for about the first 85 minutes that my brain freezes up in recoiled horror every time I've tried to put them into words. However, like some kind of undramatic 4-5-1 phoenix from the flames, the boys managed to look like the Everton of last season, gritty and determined in midfield, solid defensively, and grinding out simple but effective 1-0 wins against lesser opponents. No disrepect to Bolton or Fulham fans, but you are. You just are.

Again Fellaini was magisterial, if that is even a word, and nodded in his goal against Bolton with a sort of lanky grace usually reserved for Peter Crouch and swans. He's dominating the midfield aerial battles and is combining well with Osman in the middle, even if it does leave us a bit slack defensively, and with Cahill back and Rodwell coming through the ranks we suddenly appear to have a wealth of options in the middle seemingly from nowhere. Saha finally managed to get on the scoresheet, we're now 7th in the league behind the mighty Hull, we got our first home win (for fucks sake) and we've picked up 7 points from the last 3 games... in other words, things are looking up.

Oh and to sweeten the deal further, Liverpool got beaten by Tottenham with ol' spade-face Carragher scoring an exquisite own goal. Later I used this to wind up our erstwhile Liverpool editor Yates until he got so drunk and surly that he ordered expensive cocktails from the bar and demanded for them to be 'put on the tab.' Shit got undignified.