Howdy! Apologies for missing a couple of weeks – I’ve been on a sabbatical up a hill in the Scottish Highlands, finding myself and rediscovering my zest for life. Well and truly refreshed, here’s my positive outlook themed musings from the past week or so.
* The most recent series of Harry Hill’s TV Burp has now ended? Don’t let him have a holiday – it should be on 52 weeks per year.
* I have it on good authority that the worlds leading politicians (including Barrack) spent their time in London last week watching Gordon Brown’s DVD box-set of Bottom, as they are bored shitless of trying to solve the world’s debt problems.
* For a much maligned player, that was a fine bit of play (and wholly unselfish too) from Boa Morte on Saturday. Well done fella.
* I’m going being a backing dancer for Mel B’s Vegas based Burlesque show. Aye karumba – she’s been working out lately. That’s a dream job, as long as she keeps her mouth shut…
* 100/1 winner in the National? Get the hell outta here…
* Guns don’t kill people – rappers do.
* Britain’s Got Talent returns to our screens next Saturday. Don’t tell anyone I told you but the following colleagues of mine have all auditioned:
- Gretar Steinsson, doing a little tap-dancing
- Fabrice Muamba, with his ventriloquist dummy ‘Bertie Hole’.
- Andy O’Brien – no discernible act. He just wanted to see Kelly Brook. He was gutted that she was fired off after a couple of days.
- Johan Elmander, with his knife-throwing act. Given his accuracy levels, his lovely assistant (Alfie Makakula) is shitting bricks…
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