Bolton Wanderers FC

Howdy! Ali here, fresh from the Gulf Cup of Nations (more of which later on, if I can hold my excitement that long…). Won’t be long now before I’m back in blighty and, though I’ve actually been busy playing football for the past couple of weeks, I’ve still had time to do some musings for you. Take care and see you when Bolton next play a cup game (August 2009 then…). Your old bosom-buddy Ali. x

- We won the Gulf Cup of Nations! Without blowing my own trombone, yours truly was voted the best keeper in the tournament for a record fifth time, due to keeping 4 clean sheet in the competition. Having drawn 0-0 with the Saudis in the final, we won 6-5 on penalties to take the most prestigious trophy in international football! Happy days.

- I wish I could be in Washington today for Barack’s inauguration ceremony. It doesn’t really interest me but I have to admit to Mrs Obama being high on my list of ‘MILF’s I would but wouldn’t tell my mates about’. Don’t let Mrs Al-Habsi hear about that though…

- The new Countdown. Absolute toilet water, despite my old mate Jeff’s best efforts.

- Kelly Brook as a new judge on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’? Ding dong. Toot toot. Helllllooooo. Down boy.

- Oh no she isn’t. Damn, blast and bugger…

- Jessica Taylor on ‘Dancing On Ice’ or Michelle Heaton on ‘Celeb Big Brother’? The delectable Jessica every time for me…

- I’ve just realised – all this appreciating the intellectual qualities of delightful young ladies is making Ali look a bit of a perv. Time to resort to some high-brow, arty-farty type musings.

- I’ll bet a pound to a pinch of shit that Jonathon Ross does a knob gag on his return to BBC1 on Friday night.

- RIP Tony Hart. I used to watch the great man religiously when growing up in Oman as a kid. Wonderful, emotive memories.

- Though he never did show a picture I sent in to his Gallery segment many moons back. It took me 3 weeks to paint too, entitled ‘Jussi gets his legs broken by a mysterious foreign assailant with a baseball bat’.