Bolton Wanderers FC

Oh yes – it’s good to see James Corden being funny again, following a long period of relative shite (starting with the 2^nd series of Gavin & Stacey, moving on to Corden & Horne and culminating in the shite-fest that looks to be Lesbian Vampire Killers. For those of you who missed it, this Comic Relief sketch with high profile members of the England squad was very funny indeed. Good work Corden – now please concentrate on making the 3^rd series of Gavin & Stacey as good as the first. There’s a good chap.

Simply brilliant. Brian Glover – a grown man, no less –bullying a group of schoolboys. It doesn’t get any funnier.

Marvellous. Taken from the most consistently amusing show of the past 10 years. It's Chico time!

I know, I know, I know – it’s not a subject we should make light of and it isn’t supposed to be amusing. So why do I piss my sides every time I see the greatest footballer who ever lived offering advice for those poor unfortunates who struggle getting (and maintaining) a stiffy??? Here’s some advice Pele mate – tell them to watch the latest Girls Aloud DVD. That’ll do the trick…

(Disappointingly I can’t find the bloody advert anywhere on the net (except for a version in Brazilian), though I’m sure you can all remember it well…)

Breaking news of an old VHS tape found in a Whitehaven attic today, featuring footage of Scott Carson in his school football team. Uncanny how his game hasn't changed much over the years...

Oh woe is me - enough of this guitar-based cacophony of drivel that passes for music these days. Let's return to a time when crooners were kings; when an air of cool pervaded every musical performance you heard; when scotch on the rocks was the coolest drink in town. Here's George Dawes evoking such memories with a poignant tribute to the beautiful game. Rumour has it that his last comment inspired Mike Riley to take up refereeing...

It pains me to say it but this parody is fairly spot on and, for a comedy duo who are usually as funny as licking the armpits of a Russian female shot-putter after a particularly vigorous tossing session, it's fairly amusing too.

Balls. I had this prepared a week or so ago and then the CatFlap homepage pays reference to it. Well sod it – I’m posting this anyway! This was one of those comedy moments that obviously weren’t intended to be hilarious but just turned out that way. Picture the scene: The opening ceremony of the 1994 World Cup Finals in America. In keeping with the good old American way, the pomp and bombast was augmented by a performance by soul superstar Diana Ross. The legendary Miss Ross bounded about the place with a tireless enthusiasm which belied her advancing years, obviously buoyed by the watching global audience of billions. Warbling her way through a medley of hits, the Supremes legend shimmies her way across the pitch toward a waiting ball and goal, with the intention obviously being that Ms Ross hammers the ball home and the crowd goes wild. The goals were the size of a small African country, leading to a perfect finale. Miss Ross shimmies, she sidesteps and then this happens (fast forward to the 2 minute mark if you're not a fan of her back catalogue)…