Martin Riggs (Gretar Steinsson) is a cop on the edge. Mourning the death of his beloved wife, he is standing at the very edge of the precipice. His monumental personal loss has contributed to the creation of a maverick (some would say damn-near suicidal) police officer, with scant regard for police protocol and procedure, to the extent that his colleagues universally refuse to be partnered with him. Working alone, and showing even greater psychotic tendencies due to the impending festive celebrations around him, Riggs is infiltrating a gang of very naughty men in a dodgy roadside development, masquerading as a Christmas Tree salesground. Riggs is sampling some of their less-than-legal fares, laid out on a dodgy table amongst the Norwegian Spruces:
(Riggs) Ok, so let's do it. How much?
(Naughty Villain) How much for how much?
(Riggs) For all of it.
(Naughty Villain No.1, to Naughty Villains Nos.2 & 3) You want it all? HE WANTS IT ALL ! Alllllrrrright! COngratulations!
(Riggs) Maybe a nice 6 footer to put it under, eh?
You want a tree? I'l tell you what - I'l give you the best tree I got for nothing. But the shit’s gonna cost you, ermm…100.
(Riggs) What? That much?
(Naughty Villain) Hey - you said you liked it. That's a fair price for a box full of Bolton Wanderers half-season tickets.
(Riggs) Yeah. Yeah – hell, you only live once. Let's get this together here.
(Riggs reaches into his pocket, pulls out a huge wad of bundled notes and starts counting)
(Riggs) Ten…Twenty…Thirty…
(The naughty villains look at each other incredulously…)
(Riggs) Forty…Fifty…Sixty
(Naughty villain) Hey man.
(Riggs) Shut up man, I'm losing count.
(Naughty villain No.1) Forget it, you dumb shit. 100 pounds. Just 100 pounds.
(Riggs) 100 pounds straight? For 500 BWFC half-season tickets?
(Naughty villain No.1) Yeah. We can’t shift them anymore – who on earth do you think wants to buy this shit for any more than that?
(Riggs throws his police badge onto the table) Well look – I got a better idea. Let me say I take the whole stash off your hands for free and you assholes can go to jail.
(Villain No.1) Somebody shoot this prick…