Bolton Wanderers FC

It's good to see Megson aiming to be active in the transfer market early on in the month. Already had a £3 million bid for James Morrison rejected by West Brom (seems a decent player but I don't know a great deal about him, having not paid much attention to West Brom's plight this season - perhaps Youngy can elaborate further on the lad) plus a rumoured £1.5 million bid for West Ham's Calum Davenport is in the offing. Now these have probably been lost amongst the pages and pages of rumours about whom Man City will be after (anyone from Wayne Bridge to Adriano to Bruce Forsyth apparently) and, whilst not big name players, I'm going to reserve judgement for now. After all, the signings Megson has made to date (i.e. this time last year - Matt Taylor, Gretar Steinsson and Gary Cahill) have been excellent. He's hoping he can repeat such form and strengthen the squad over the next 30 days - God knows it's needed. Promises to be an interesting month for us non-interesting clubs, as well as the big boys...

Now this really did make me laugh today! As much as I love the bloke, does any rumour-monger seriously believe Chelsea would be in for Kevin Davies? He is excellent at what he does and is an integral player but seriously - Chelsea are looking to sign world class players for phenomenal fees. As much as it pains me to say it, Davo doesn't fall into that category. The one true world class player we've had over the past couple of years is, funnily enough, currently plying his trade in a Chelsea shirt. Look to the continent for the glamour players Mr Scolari and leave Davo doing what he undoubtedly does best at a place where he is best suited doing just that.

As if we didn't need any convincing, the recall of Nicky Hunt from Birmingham perfectly illustrates how threadbare the current first team squad is. He may figure in the FA Cup game at Sunderland on Saturday but this leads me to believe that Megson obviously isn't expecting to sign anyone of note between now and the next league game at Arsenal on 10th Jan. The current problems stem from the suspensions of Gavin McCann and Gretar Steinsson so, whilst it's no surprise that Hunt is back with us, it's a concern that we are in such dire straits as to have to do this. Come on Eddie Davies - get your hand in your pocket and let Megson splash the cash this Jan...

Some welcome (and very surprising) good news coming through today in the form of Ali Al-Habsi signing a four year extension to his current contract. Originally due to expire in the summer, it was widely expected that Ali would move elsewhere in search of first team football (he is surely too good to be playing second fiddle to anyone), with Tottenham strongly linked. However, this extension will see him remain at the Reebok until 2013. I can only assume that he has received reassurances that he will be the club's No.1 once Jussi has retired but, regardless of the reasons, this is very positive news indeed.

Hello! A festive festooned Ali here, with my latest musings. Enjoy, have a wonderful New Year and see you in 2009! Your old chum, Ali. x

 

- Happy New Year!

- I'm glad I was busy crayoning yesterday, rather than taking part in such a turgid game. What a bumper pile of arse biscuits!

- It's my birthday tomorrow! 27 years young. Here's hoping Mrs Al-Habsi gets me Eva Mendes, like I've asked her too.

- To celebrate, I've signed a new contract with the whites. It had to be done really - why would I want to go to Spurs and act as No.2 to Coco the clown?

- You're too full? But it's Christmas so what the hell? That's no excuse Greeny, you fat shit. Just eat a bit less and you won't sit there like Mr Creosote, you heaving great porker. Get on a diet in the New Year too, before you go the same way as John Candy.

- RIP Eartha Kitt. However, though it may no longer be too respectable to do so, I'm going to continue using your name as rhyming slang for a bloody good dump. I'm sure you'd appreciate the sentiment.

- Lloyd and Liz getting it on in Coronation Street? That really will put Mrs Al-Habsi off her mid-evening sausage roll. Urggghhhhh.

- The Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special was an over-rated pile of tosh. Very disappoining indeed.

- I'm looking forward to a typical New Years Eve, during which I spend a few hours pouring over the days newspapers and taking in the various reviews of the year. I'll have to see if I can get one of my team-mates to post a BWFC review of the year here? That would be nice...

 

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Prompted by Megson's mystifying decision to drop Kevin Davies to the bench for yesterdays game at Anfield, I ask the above question? And I firmly believe that Kevin Davies is undroppable. I don't care that it was a tactical decision. I don't care that it was a fixture we were expected to lose anyway. I don't care that we have 2 games in 3 days. Everybody knows Davies is a full-blooded, fully committed player who will give his all in every fixture. He causes problems in every game he plays and will never let you down. Plus, on top of that, he is a bloody good (and severely underated) player. That is why he has to figure in each and every game (barring injury and suspension, of course). Hopefully Megson will have learned enough from this particular mistake (and he admitted as much pretty quickly) not to make it again.

 

Which prompts the question - who are the 'undroppable' players in this league? The big names should certainly figure (i.e. Ronaldo, Rooney, Vidid, Ferdinand (R), Torres, Gerrard, Carragher, Fabregas, Adebayor, Lampard, Terry, Cech) but they all play for the big 4, so where does the debate over squad rotation (i.e. prior to Champions League games) begin and end? And what about the top performers at the other clubs (i.e. Barry, Ashley Young. Laursen, Tim Cahill, Yakubu, Robinho, Ireland, Zaki, Owen, Given, Downing, Defoe, Crouch, James, Bellamy, Bullard etc. etc.)? Can any player truly be deemed undroppable? I believe so but I'm sure others will disagree...???

I'd just like to take this opportunity to wish the Catflap community (bloggers and marvellous people beind this wonderful site) a very merry Christmas and a belting (and piss-taking) 2009. Contributing to this for the past 5 months has been great fun and will hopefully continue to be so for the rest of the season and beyond. It's been a pleasure reading some of the top-notch posts on here and hopefully we'll get all the clubs filled at some point soon. All the best fellas.

Greeny.

It rankles a little that Big Sam has joined our closest rivals (in geographical terms at least) but I'd just like to wish him well. Unlike some simpletons round here who used to idolise the guy but now jeer him,  I still hold the guy in high esteem, due in no small part to the unprecedented success he brought to the club. He deserves to be back in top flight management (Mike Ashley proved what a prize prick he is by getting shut of Sam prematurely in January) and, with the squad he's inherited at Ewood Park, I'm sure he'll maintain their Premier league status this season and move onward and upward from there. Upon getting the Newcastle job he stated he'd need 2 years to get things back on track - I hope he's given a fair crack of the whip in this post. Good luck Sam - I'm sure the majority of Bolton fans still appreciate what you did here and wish you well.

News that I've just gotten wind of that I can't quite believe. Apparently we've been paid £143,678 by UEFA for releasing players for the Euro 2008 finals. That figure also takes the qualifying games into account but, even so, this seems a bizarre move? It must be widespread though, as this figure was the ninth-highest paid to any Premier Club. I really didn't know this happened. It's not a king's ransom but £143,678 will keep Danny Shittu's 9000 calorie a day diet on the go for a couple of months at least...

It's testament to Ginger Mourinho that he landed the above award. That it recognises the change of fortune last month is a relief to all fans. That it hopefully lands Megson a bit of breathing space can only benefit the team. We're not out of the woods yet, not by any stretch of the imagination, but the 12 points picked up last month were much needed. The loss to Liverpool aside, the 4 wins (3 of them away from home) against Man City, Hull, Sunderland and Middlesbrough were a hell of an achievement. Here's hoping the momentum can be maintained over the coming months but, in the meantime, congratulations to Gary Megson. This was well deserved.

 

Hey. Ricky Sbragia here. Now managing Sunderland on a temporary basis (what the hell did I do to deserve this?), my most fertile time in football came during my time at The Reebok Stadium, when I was a media darling. You may, in fact, remember me from such ground-breaking TV productions as ‘Yes Sam, I’ll Do All The BBC Interviews Due To You Spitting Your Dummy Out Big Time’, ‘Ricky Sbragia’s Kitchen Nightmares’ and ‘Friday Night With Ricky Sbragia’. Despite the unprecedented level of adulation and support for me during that period, it is a little known fact that I am an international games champion; a skill which is especially beneficial during the festive period. I used to while away the hours playing Guess Who with Anthony Barness, Trivial Pusuit with Radhi Jaidi and Connect 4 with Nicky Southall. But my absolute favourite game, and the subject of my first tip or two, is Scrabble. I played everyone at The Reebok at this game during my time there and laced them all. Follow the following tips of mine and you’ll never lose again. Good night, good luck and get a cash game going with Gran, if possible – you’ll fooking fleece her! Best of luck. Ricky.

 

 

- Contrary to popular belief, names are allowed. I’ve won many a game by slipping Dweezil Zappa (or his brother Moon Unit) over a triple word score at the end of a game. My own lauded surname is worth 78 points alone and that’s before you hit any of the special squares.

 

- Believe it or not, album titles are also allowed. Again, I’ve stolen a march on many an opponent by steaming straight in with ‘Carry On Up The Charts – The Very Best of the Beautiful South’ as an opening salvo. You’ve got them on the rocks from the off then.

 

- Finally, and this is the master stroke, quzfojk is a genuine word. It is a Scottish delicacy consisting of tripe, trotters, faggots and peas, all boiled in a rabbit’s stomach and delicately infused with a reindeer jus. Suzie Dent told me that when she came to watch the Black Cats last week.

 

News through yesterday that Ian Walker has left the club, having agreed a deal to cancel his contract. This doesn’t come as much of a surprise, with Ali Al-Habsi now firmly established as Jussi’s back-up (even though I’m expecting him to leave in the summer…) and youngster Adam Bogdan seemingly highly-regarded.

Whilst Walker has never had much of a chance to shine (playing just 8 games since signing in 2005), he has always been a dependable and experienced player to have in the ranks. I doubt if, at the age of 37, he’ll have too many people knocking on his door (though the US Major League has been mooted as a possible destination) but good luck to him in whatever he chooses to do. Just stay away from those lap dancing bars Ian – they’re more trouble than they’re worth fella…

I agreed with Max Branning from Eastenders (a.k.a. Gary Megson) when he expressed some degree of surprise that Gary Cahill hasn’t been considered for the current England squad, especially when the like of Michael Mancienne has been drafted in. Now I’m sure that Mancienne is a quality player (haven’t seen too much of him I’m afraid, so can’t make a judgement for myself at this stage) but Cahill has been top class since joining the Whites. Yes, the team have struggled over that period, but Cahill has probably been the most consistent player during that time. Assured, collected, powerful and a great reader of the game, he looks an astute signing (even at £5 million) and can only improve over time. Still only 22, he is now one of the most important players at the club and it suggests ignorance on Capello’s part for him not to have noticed this and given Cahill a chance, especially given the spate of ‘injuries’ (yeah, right…) and withdrawals which have occurred this week. Only time will tell if Cahill does get the call-up he definitely deserves, though my fear is the longer he misses out, the greater the temptation will be for him to leave for a ‘bigger club’ to realize his international ambitions. So come on Capello – prove that your reputation is warranted and select worthy players from unfashionable clubs, rather than players-with-promise who haven’t even figure at Premiership level.

Thank the Lord for Roy Keane. A few years back I hated the bloke as a player (even though he was admittedly one of the best around) and, with having an affinity to Newcastle United due to my North East roots and having a NUFC mad fatha, I always wanted Alan Shearer to knock his block off when they had one of their many spats. However, I find his typically forthright and direct manner as a manager quite refreshing and it makes a pleasant change to see a manager have a pop at a worthy target rather than start a petty squabble with a fellow boss.

 

Apparently he’s caused some concern amongst the top-brass up at the Stadium of Shite with his scathing comments last week regarding Sky pundits and commentators. For what it’s worth, I think he’s fairly spot on. Whilst it’s in Sky’s best interests to provide almost blanket coverage of English football and breaking news, some of their so-called ‘experts’ are piss poor.  Namely Andy Gray, who is far too smug and self-aggrandising for his own good, and Paul Merson, who is an illiterate joke and would struggle to convey an accurate and clear report on my 2-year old daughter putting her coat on. In addition, Trevor Francis (do they still use him?) is quite simply an arse, likewise Ruud Gullit.

 

But, and I must stick up for Sky here, they do have some diamonds in their ranks (and these outnumber the duffers listed above). Jeff Stelling is quite simply a legend. Jamie Redknapp is proving to be a very competent analyst and must be in the frame for taking over from Andy Gray. Chris Kamara is comedy gold and I do like the no-nonsense input from both Alan McAnally and Le Tiss. Christ – I’m even warming to Phil Thompson’s slightly witty style of analysis and I never thought I’d see the day I’d say that…

 

Good on you Roy for having the balls to speak out. Plus a topic prompted by you provides an ideal opportunity to revisit this gem of a clip.

 

 

I know I’ve harped on about this previously but this initiative really does seem to be reaping benefits at the moment. Coincidence or is there something in it? Let’s take a look at the stats and try to decide:

 

Saturday’s game at Hull was the sixth time over the past year or so that BWFC have provided free coach travel to away games. The fans have been quick on the uptake and the stats so far concerning these games are:

 

Played: 6

Won: 3

Drawn: 2

Lost: 1

 

That is an excellent away record for any team in the league. If it’s just coincidence then so be it, though I happen to believe that there’s something more to this and that the extra support in away games is really having a positive effect on the lads out on the pitch. This theory may be blown out of the water by the end of the month as the same scheme is being used for away trips at Boro and Sunderland. These are crucial games and I will stick my neck out and say we will get through them unbeaten. Perhaps I wouldn’t have said that a few weeks ago but I do believe there’s a real feel-good factor surrounding this initiative now and hopefully it will continue. Well done BWFC on what is proving to be a fantastic and beneficial idea.

It came as no surprise to see Nicky Hunt go out on loan a few days ago. He hasn’t figured at all this season and obviously isn’t one of Megson’s preferred players. Joining Birmingham for a month is a good move for him though as he’ll be getting regular football in a competitive and quality-filled league (he went straight into their 1^st team for Monday night’s defeat at home to Coventry). However, the local press are suggesting today that the move could become a permanent one. Gretar Steinsson is now the undoubted first choice in that position though, somewhat bizarrely, Megson has stated that should the Iceman pick up an injury, Joey O’Brien could fill in as well as Andy O’Brien or Jloyd Samuel. The 2 latter names are a concern there as they are not natural right-backs. All I can assume from this is that Megson is attempting to raise some funds / free some wages in order to make purchases in January (hopefully David Villa or Samuel Eto……)? Regardless of what else happens, it does look as if Nicky Hunt’s Bolton career could be coming to an end, which is a shame as he’s the only genuine local lad (born in Westhoughton) anywhere near the first team at the moment.

Good day! Everyone’s favourite Oman international, Ali Al Habsi here. Now I can’t begin to describe how excited I am that Mick Green has approached me to write a column for his CatFlap column. Excited because I’ve taken a cursory glance at his posts so far and, as we say in Oman, it’s piss poor. Therefore it’s my intention to add an air of style, wit and philosophy to his column. Now, as I spend a lot of time warming my arse on the BWFC bench, I have many opportunities to wander off in a dream-like state and contemplate life, the universe and boobies. Mick has recognised this and asked me to contribute my musings every week, following each BWFC match. Let’s face it, it looks like I’ll be spending my time doing this rather than getting action out on the pitch. So, without further ado, here’s my first collection. Enjoy and enter a zen-like state whilst contemplating such mind-blowing themes as:

 

* How will Ruth fare during Mariah Carey week on the X-Factor?

 

* Will she adopt the winning equation? i.e. Boobies on show = safe passage through to next week. Covered up = last 2 and a nerve-wracking sing-off.

 

* Will my script for High School Musical 4: The Kids Go Through Puberty be accepted by my literary agent?

 

* What am I going to do now the luscious Ola is out of Strictly Come Dancing? All the other female dancers have faces like Ian Marshall.

 

* You didn’t hear it from me but there’s a sneaky rumour going round the Reebok that Andy O’Brien is in line to become the next Dr Who.

 

* I hope Santa Claus has got my Christmas list. I posted it 2 weeks ago and simply won’t be able to function if I haven’t got the 2009 Beano & Dandy annuals on      Christmas morning.

 

* Jussi Jaaskelainen? JJ Okocha? It appears you need to have the initials JJ to get into the first team. Hence I’m changing my name by deed-poll to Jeremiah Jizzlejugs.

 

There is a growing air of frustration around these parts regarding Megson's general refusal to introduce substitutes until the dying moments of games. Therefore it was with much bemusement that I read his latest quote, defending his decision to stick with the players on the pitch for as long as he did yesterday:

 

"Not too many of the players wanted to come off and we were doing ok. We were creating opportunities and there was no-one playing particularly badly. We made the changes purely and simply to put some fresh legs on. Everyone has their own opinion when I should have done that but we were causing Spurs some problems even with 10 men."

 

We were doing ok? We were causing Spurs some problems? We had 3 shots on target to their 10. We were 2-0 down after 75 minutes and, despite having attacking players such as Riga, Smolarek and Helguson on the bench, no substitutions were made until the 85 minute mark. This, to my mind, was Megson's way of throwing the towel in on this game. If that's not true, why the hell didn't he introduce Riga (or Smolarek for that matter) earlier in the game? To win games in this league you actually have to go out and attack teams (something Phil Brown is doing very well up at Hull) - the longer we continue in this vein, the longer we will struggle. I really do have a very bad feeling about this season...

 

There needs to be an air of positivity here (I can't bring myself to type a match review just yet.....) so I'm trying to big up the Catflap cause. I have a day off tomorrow (i.e. Monday) due to having being on the razz tonight thanks to my lovely wife whisking my lovely daughter half way across Europe for the week and I intend sitting on my fat lazy arse clearing some storage on the Sky+ box and adding some wonderful (?!) posts to good old Catflap.

It's a nice little community building up here. It's a genuine pleasure to get up-to-date with the latest posts from the likes of Yatesy, Tenchy, Pricey, Northy & Teshaey, though it's a little frustrating that there are still some Prem clubs on the look-out for editors. I'm going to use my time off to good effect and search for Catflap openings which may be filled. It might not be big or clever but it's vital to the continued strength of this site.

Viva la Catflap!

So sang cod-Indie boy wannabees EMF in their chart-topping smash 'Unbelievable'. This song must have been written for Megson, given the nugget he's come out with on the back of the local rag today. Words fail me with this one (he is the man who makes the tactical decisions after-all) so have a look and make up your own mind:

 

Go-slow to help out Elmander

Wanderers must slow down in order for Johan Elmander to rediscover his goal touch.

That is the assessment of Gary Megson, who has watched his club record signing struggle for form since returning from a hamstring injury suffered in the second week of the season.

The Sweden international began his Reebok career with a goal in the opening day victory over Stoke but has failed to hit the target in the three games since his return.

Megson, however, thinks the team must alter their current style of play to help Elmander hit the goal trail again.

"We are not playing enough in the opposition's half - we are a bit rushed or frenetic at times, which is not going to suit centre forwards" Megson summised.

"We have got to settle on the ball a little more. We have to put in that extra pass in the middle of the park, to enable people to get forward and support Johan because we are not doing that at the moment either. He is a little isolated."

 

I want to warm to Megson, I really do. But he really isn't helping himself when he comes out with stuff like this. Do the talking on the pitch Gary - these are empty words unless you actually change the tactics for real, as opposed to within the pages of a newspaper.

During these times of slight concern with matters on the pitch, and given the people running the club have (rightly so) been an easy target for criticism over the years, it’s time to actually pay some compliments. The free travel to away games which has been such a hit over the past 12 months (see article here) is back on for the Hull game on the 8^th November. It’s good to see that the club have noticed the benefits of having a vociferous support at away games and are continuing with this idea. This should ensure a decent following for what is now looking like a very tricky fixture.

 

I’m absolutely gutted too as this was the one away game I desperately wanted to attend this season. It’s an easy journey to make, it would be interesting to see the KC Stadium (always seems like a decent atmosphere over there) and, primarily, it would be good to pay Phil Brown some respect on the excellent job he’s doing over there. However, my band (Slipstream, the finest Indie covers band in the NW and now taking 2009 bookings for pubs, clubs, weddings, private functions, bah-mitzvahs and corporate events in Dubai) are gigging that evening, so I can’t make it. But here’s hoping a packed away end can help the boys onto a much needed victory. I feel the need to pay further tribute to Phil Brown but will do that via a separate Legends post – he deserves it.

 

Reports are emerging today that Ricardo Vaz Te has issued something of an ultimatum to Ginger Mourhino – ‘Play me or let me go’. Seemingly he is only referring to a loan deal here, though I’ll bet with one eye on the future. I personally think Vaz Te’s BWFC days are numbered. Having been with the club some 5-6 years now, Vaz Te has never been more than a bit-part player, despite coming to the club with a reputation as one of Europe’s finest young talents. He didn’t figure prominently under Allardyce, who did actually seem to like the look of him, whilst he’s figured even less under Megson. His chances look even bleaker now with Elmander, Davies, Smolarek, Riga and Helguson ahead of him in the pecking order.

 

Surely a loan deal to a Championship side is a win-win deal for all parties, with Barnsley and Watford both reportedly interested? Such a deal would give Vaz Te vital match experience, it would give these clubs a striker with potential and Premiership experience and, from Vaz Te’s perspective, a decent run notching up some goals will do no harm to his prospects of getting a move away from The Reebok. He’s 22 now and, at that age, it’s understandable he wants to plays more often. Whilst at times infuriating (he used to have an uncanny knack of falling flat on his arse at inopportune moments, often due to diving, unfortunately…), Vaz Te hasn’t done anything particularly wrong at Bolton; it’s just that his time to shine never really materialised. So here’s hoping he gets the loan move he needs, bangs a few goals in and secures a move to a club where he’ll get regular football.

 

Now, if only we could palm Helguson off onto some poor, unsuspecting club….

This is what Vaz Te can be capable of...

 

 

Comedy gold in the Bolton News today, with Megson claiming that Bolton need to start scoring goals before the free-flowing football will come. This raises a number of issues:

 

1)     He obviously realises the recent performances have been a bumper bag of bollocks.

2)     He realises both major problems currently affecting the team (i.e. a lack of goals and piss-poor football).

3)     He fails to realise that if he attempts the free-flowing football first (i.e. not sticking Elmander up front on his jack in home games) there will be a greater chance that the goals will follow.

4)     Megson doesn’t appear to know the way out of this predicament. What is he going to do to ensure the goals come? Seemingly nothing different. Oh what unmitigated joy that will lead to – more of the same in future games.

 

That Bolton have failed to score in half of their 8 league games so far is a major cause for concern. That Kevin Davies is the only player to have scored more than one goal in those 8 games is a major cause for concern. That Megson doesn’t appear to have a Plan B is a major cause for concern. I’m trying to stay positive throughout this but it’s becoming more difficult with each passing week. I do genuinely hope and pray that things turn around very quickly (I’d much rather be writing positive posts than this type) but the signs aren’t good. Time will tell – perhaps the clocks going back this weekend will help us…

So sang the mighty Quo. But who are your tips for relegation this season? And are they the same tips you'd have said back at the start of August? Didn't think so...

 

Not wanting to get negative but I'm making the most of being a CatFlap editor this season, purely because I don't think Bolton (and, by association, me) will be here next season. I really do have a very bad feeling about this.

 

Hell, we're even amongst the 3 favourites for relegation now. According to best_betting (a fine betting website for all you gamblers out there), the best odds for relegation are now:

 

Stoke 2/7 (a little harsh I feel, given their current form)

West Brom 7/4 (that looks a fine price to me)

Bolton 2/1 (oh dear...)

Fulham 11/4 (won't be far away)

Hull 11/4 (a ridiculous price: they should be twice that)

Spurs 7/2 (Good God. They were 5/2 for 5th spot at the start of the season)

Newcastle 7/2 (Pains me to say it but another attractive price)

West Ham, Wigan & Sunderland 8/1 (None of whom will go down)

 

That makes for worrying reading. 3 months ago the smart money was on the 3 promoted clubs going straight back down. That now looks to have been blown out of the water. Draw your own conclusions but my bottom twitches a little every time I look at the above list. Something needs to change and fast. But there are no whipping boys this season - no Derby, no Sunderland (of old). Every team is capable of a decent performance and you can't look at any fixtures with a huge amount of confidence anymore. I guess I should start planning my CatFlap farewell party. Ok - it will be a fish supper and a few cans with just me, the wife, a laptop screen and a tear-stained cheek but hey - we all have to prepare for the inevitable some time...

This is a difficult match to preview in that it’s impossible to call, as both teams have the capability of beating anyone else in the league when they play to form, whilst also having the capability of being absolutely awful on occasion. History isn’t with the Whites here, having last being victorious over Blackburn at home in the Premier League some eight-and-a-half years ago. However, it appears that Ginger Mourinho has a few selection problems (of the positive kind), which makes a pleasant change this season. Expect the team to be as was when beating West Ham a couple of weeks ago, with one possible exception: will Matt Taylor replace Ricardo Gardner on the left of midfield?

 

I would guess so. Gardner has been in excellent form so far this season, adding some consistency to his game and working the channel well. However, Taylor showed what a threat he can be when coming off the bench to hammer a free-kick home in that West Ham victory and I just feel that Megson fancies him more. Plus, Gardner has figured twice for Jamaica in the last 7 days and could well be knackered, whilst Taylor should be as fresh as a daisy.

 

I fancy another victory for us here. Blackburn are unpredictable but I’m hoping the current good run (in terms of goals) that Super Kevin Davies is on will rub off on Elmander and he’ll kick-start his season again here. If our excellent centre-half pairing of Cahill and ‘Snozzles’ O’Brien (as I’ll call him from now on in, to avoid confusion with Joey) can keep Santa Cruz quiet, I’m opting for a 2-0 win. Muamba will give Nolan a license to roam and he likes the battles against Blackburn, so he is the call to open his account for the season with the opening goal of the game, with Elmander notching the second.

 

Come on you Whites!

And, for once, that title isn't leading into a shameful innuendo. We may be in the midst of a credit crunch here in good old blighty but it appears the collapse of the Icelandic banking system really is a major cause for concern. Apparently the Icelandic players themselves were left potless whilst playing in Holland last weekend, with bank cards not working and players left with no money unless they took cold hard cash from the countries where they are plying their trade. From a BWFC point of view, this would have affected Heidur Helguson, Gretar Steinsson and BWFC legend Eidur Gudjohnsen (who probably won’t be struggling for cash, to be honest…). Will the Icelandic players continue to represent their country whilst this is going on? Time will tell but it could be worse – their local council could have £6 million tied up in the Icelandic banking system…

Hi! I’m Michael Ricketts – you may remember me from such big screen classics as ‘Big Time Charlie in Small Time Bolton’, ‘When The Bright Lights Take Me To The Riverside Stadium’ and ‘Falling Faster Than A Hooker’s Drawers’. What isn’t widely known is that, with time on my hands over recent years, I’ve established myself as one of the greatest motivational speakers in the world. My time at the top of the football tree convinced me that I have a God-given gift and I have used these experiences to influence the needy and the uninspired the world over. Now, via this wonderful website, I’d like to offer you the opportunity to attend one of my seminars and change your life forever.

 

What I do is convince you to think positive. You may have a real talent but don’t know how to harness it. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming set in your ways – you need to reach for the stars, believe you’re the best, strive for greater riches. And when you achieve this, no matter how fleeting the fame may be, you’ll be able to sit back on your big fat arse and revel in your riches, eating Kit-Kat Chunkys and watching Jeremy Kyle all day long. You’ll be able to relive past glories (even if they do amount to 45 minutes against Holland – that’s more than most will achieve) and regale your Grandkids with lofty tales of greatness. I’ll teach you how to believe you’re the best there is, even if the truth is far removed from that.

 

The first course will be held in the store room at Walsall Tesco Express on Dec.25^th, running from 11.15 – 13.30. Prices are £999 (plus VAT) and include a buffet lunch (with big fat dumplings and humble pie and cream) and a Michael Ricketts instructional DVD (running time: 10 minutes). Thanks for reading, get on the course and remember my mantra at all times – if you want to eat burgers and drive fast cars, don’t be a chump, just reach for the stars.

 

Hurrah. Let’s get tonight out of the way and get back to the real deal – club football. BWFC players who will hopefully come through tonight unscathed are:

 

Ricardo Gardner: Jamaica (v Honduras). Captained Jamaica to a 1-0 victory over Mexico at the weekend, which should be good for confidence, even if he will probably be dropped for Matty Taylor at the weekend…

Ebi Smolarek: Poland (v Slovakia). Helped Poland to a 2-1 win over the Czechs at the weekend.

Jussi: Finland (v Russia). A sterner test following Saturday’s 1-0 trouncing of Azerbaijan…

Adam Bogdan: Hungary (v Malta). The Young keeper played no part in Hungary’s 2-0 victory over Albania.

Heidur Helguson & Gretar Steinsson: Iceland (v Macedonia). Helguson played in Saturday’s 2-0 loss in Holland but, surprisingly, Steinsson did not figure. I find that hard to believe to be honest, unless he was carrying a minor injury?

Tamir Cohen: Israel (v Latvia). Did not figure in 3-1 win over Luxembourg.

Joey O’Brien: R.o.Ireland (v Cyprus). Will be hoping to figure after a free weekend for the RoI.

Johan Elmander: Sweden don’t have a midweek game so Johan will hopefully be raring to go against Blackburn on Saturday.

Danny Shittu: Nigeria don’t have a midweek game following a 4-1 victory over the mighty Sierra Leone on Saturday, so Shittu should be raring to warm the bench come the weekend.

Fabrice Muamba: England U-21s. Surprisingly didn’t make the bench in last Friday’s play-off 1^st leg against Wales but came on as a sub after 30 minutes in last nights return leg.

 

Good luck lads and fingers crossed you return injury-free and full of confidence….

As the fantastic Dave Grohl sang (and, unfortunately, Glen fooking Campbell on Jools Holland last week), it’s times like these you’re glad no BWFC players play for England. The jeering of Ashley Cole on Saturday was a disgrace. Firstly, let me state I’m not a huge fan of Ashley Cole as a person. There is something eminently dislikeable about the bloke. But he is an excellent footballer, albeit one who made a basic error on Saturday. Is that reason enough to boo and jeer him? Give him a bit of light-hearted ribbing after the event by all means, though he obviously didn’t make that crazy pass intentionally – he simply made a mistake. Yet the knuckle dragger element of the support chose to single him out for untold abuse, probably without engaging the one brain cell they all share and realising that such action would have an effect on him for the remainder of the match.

 

The same goes for the stick Gerrard and Lampard take when they pull on an England shirt. David Blunkett could see they simply can’t play together for England but, until an England manager has the testicular mass to drop one of them, that’s the way it’s going to be – it isn’t their fault. You can’t expect them to ‘do a Meite’ and not turn out for the second half because of it. They are world class players (at club level at least) and do not deserve it. Jeez – any one of us would donate a limb to have one of those two at our club.

 

As for the berating of the England manager and team in general, I couldn’t give a toss how we play if we’re picking up wins all the time. Unconvincing displays will do me fine if we win the group and go on to glory in the 2010 World Cup, but here’s hoping the likes of Cahill, Nolan etc aren’t involved – it would be soul-destroying to see them taking the same levels of stick that the world-class players listed above are currently being subjected to.

First and foremost, Danny has taken a bit of a battering over recent weeks for that tackle on Craig Fagan. Yes, it was a moment of lunacy and yes, he deserved to be sent off. But having watched him all last season, I’m 100% convinced that he’s a decent bloke and not the malicious thug some of the stuffier football journalists in this country have made him out to be. One of these pompous, self-important fossils went as far as to suggest that he’s in a similar vein to Joey Barton this weekend, due in no small part to Joe Kinnear’s comments that Barton would have made his old Wimbledon ‘crazy gang’, along with Guthrie. Utter nonsense and thanks a lot for making such an inane comparison Joe – that will really help Guthrie banish the memory of his uncharacteristic lunge the other week. Guthrie played the game with honesty and enthusiasm last season and I hope he gets over this and continues to build on what has been a promising start to his football career, even if it is amongst the ongoing circus that is Newcastle United at present.

Following previous columns of this nature, this will only cover a select few of the original list (i.e. the ones which are worthy of discussion).

 

Stelios:

Good to see an old favourite signing for another old favourite and joining Phil Brown at Hull. On current form he’ll struggle to break into the first team but you never know. Fingers crossed for a good servant to BWFC.