Bolton Wanderers FC

Breaking the rules a little here and offering 5 subs, rather than the 4 I’ve been asked to include. But hey – what the hell. Live life on the edge from time to time. I’ve also chosen not to include a keeper – who needs them anyway?

Sub 1: Gerry Taggart

Not the classiest player I’ve ever seen (though not too shabby all the same), but big Ged gets in here purely through being honest, committed, solid and as hard as nails.

Sub 2: Fernando Hierro

In sharp contrast, possibly the classiest player I’ve ever seen. Seemingly capable of finding all the time in the world on the ball, Fernando never put a foot wrong and had an outstanding passing range. A calming influence and a true class act, what the Reebok faithful would have given to have seen him in the shirt some 5 or 10 years earlier.

Sub 3: Paul Wahurst

A blinding passer of a ball. Phenomenal in fact. Another who was classy and also built like a tank (a quality I like to see in a footballer, though not for any dodgy reasons I hasten to add). Plus he wore tassles on his socks – a fashion statement that would have Trinny, Susannah and Gok Wan cooing like a gaggle of over-rated, talentless tosspots.

Sub 4: Ivan Campo

Fan favourite. Maverick, unpredictable and brilliant. Loves the club, loves the fans, attracts fouls like no player I’ve ever seen, gets away with fouls like no player I’ve ever seen and is the only BWFC player I’ve ever seen who is well into double figures when it comes to patting other player’s rear-ends. Read both his open letters on Guillem Balague's web-page (http://www.guillembalague.com/guestwriter.php) – more tear-inducing than watching Secret Millionaire whilst chopping up a 5kg bag of onions and simultaneously dipping your todger into a bottle of Dettol.

Sub 5: John McGinlay

Goes without saying. Has to be included. 90’s legend, club legend, goal scorer extraordinaire and legendary beer monster. What more can you say?

This is guaranteed to see me lynched at the next BWFC game, given how precious a large number of Bolton fans are about the likes of John McGinlay, Andy Walker and (the hardest omission for me) Frank Worthington. So I’ve included none of these (in the starting XI at least)! The 2 strikers pick themselves as far as I’m concerned, and here’s why:

CF: Nat Lofthouse

Quite simply has to be in there. A one club man (try finding many like that now-a-days) and clearly the most important and revered player in the club’s history. Played when the club actually last won a major trophy, had a phenomenal scoring record for England and was one of the finest strikers, of his era, in the world. Too many plaudits are handed out posthumously (when they actually mean very little) so it really is time for us all to be congratulating Sir Nat. The greatest Bolton player ever.

CF: Nicolas Anelka

Yes, yes, yes – he does get the nod over McGinlay, Walker, Worthington and Holdsworth (hahaha – only joking on that last one)! And here’s for why – he is, quite simply, the most naturally gifted striker I’ve ever seen (and probably ever will see) in a BWFC shirt. Class in a glass. The real deal. For Big Sam to get him here in the first place was a piece of supreme opportunistic brilliance – for Big Sam to actually see him settled, happy (well, as happy as Anelka gets) and performing at a consistently high level was pure genius. Truly world class, it was an honour to see him perform for 18 months. A European Cup winner, Premier League winner and, at the time when he moved to Chelsea, the most expensive player of all time (in terms of cumulative transfer fees) – you can’t really say that about many other Bolton striker. Credit to a YouTube poster named foodbwfc for this fine compilation of Anelka's time at The Reebok.

LW: Alan Thompson

Signed for a bargain £250,000 from Newcastle, Thommo was a powerful, bullish and committed player. Willing to take players on and with a deadly left foot, he established himself as a firm fan’s favourite. It could also be argued that Thommo had his best years with Bolton as he never quite realised his massive potential with his subsequent clubs. Something we Trotters can be quite smug about.

CM: J.J.Okocha

Centre midfield is the trickiest area to select and I’m making no apologies for not selecting a defensive midfielder. Okocha was simply a genius, doing things with a ball I’ve never seen before or since. He played the game with a smile on his face, brought smiles to the faces of the fans and, as getting his own weekly slot on Soccer A.M. suggests, we’re talking about a very special talent indeed. An absolute joy to watch. I don't understand the 'selfishness' quote in this clip but ignore it and marvel at the sheer brilliance of the man.

CM: Youri Djorkaeff

A huge signing at the time, though many said he came with considerable baggage. Utter codswallop. Youri was, for me, the catalyst for the relative success BWFC have achieved over recent years. One of Bolton’s earliest ‘WTF signings’ (in that most fans said ‘WTF is he doing here’ when he signed) he proceeded to add lashings of class, composure and genuine world class talent to ‘little old Bolton’ in the process. A master, a visionary, an artist. Quite simply one of the finest footballers I’ve ever seen.

RM: Michael Johansen

Ahh – good old Michael. Signed in a joint deal with Per Frandsen (who narrowly misses out on inclusion in this squad), Michael provided something which we haven’t witnessed at the Reebok since he left the club in 2000 – genuine width on the right side. And what a winger he was. Blessed with incredible pace, he tore opponents to shreds on a regular basis and, like JJ, always played the game with a smile on his face. Too often since have we had to put up with players playing out of position on that wing (or, on occasion, not having anyone there at all) – it's at times like these that we fondly remember the immense contribution of Johansen.

Here we go with the really contentious posts. You will find below the first part of my greatest Bolton XI. However, it perhaps isn't a greatest ever XI as, with one notable exception, I've opted for players who I have actually seen wear the shirt. It goes without saying really but feel free to disagree and quote who you think should or shouldn't be here:

GK: Jim McDonagh

Edges out Jussi purely because Jussi, despite being one of the best shot-stoppers around, would struggle to kick my Jack Russell up the arse. McDonagh was a fine and hugely under-rated keeper.

LB: Ricardo Gardner

For giving the club 10 years excellent service during a time of unprecedented success. We'll conveniently overlook the fact that he's as effective in the final third as Stephen Hawking would be.

CB: Sam Allardyce

For being big and hard, for sporting a wonderful 'tash and simply for being Big Sam.

CB: Gary Cahill

Might seem an extremely premature inclusion but this lad is top class. He will make the full England squad within time (though, sadly, probably not as a BWFC player) and I simply cannot believe O'Neill let him leave Villa Park so readily. Cool, calm and collected, he is a real talent and will become a Bolton legend.

RB: Gudni Berggson

Signed for £65,000? 8 years phenomenal service to the club? And a mighty fine player (and bloke) to boot? The Iceman simply has to be there. A very astute Bruce Rioch signing and an absolute rock at either right-back or centre-half, Gudni can rightly claim to be a true BWFC hero. 

Formed 1874. Founder members. Three FA Cups in 20’s. Nat Lofthouse – Lion of Vienna. Super Frank Worthington – Elvis fanatic. 80’s doldrums. Colin Todd – back on track. Big Sam – miracle worker. Djorkaeff, Okocha & Campo – legends. UEFA Cup. Anelka – world class. What’s he doing here? Lack of cash – goodbye Big Sam. Thanks for the memories. Megson – same all over again? The jury’s out…