Greetings from rainy Cleethorpes!
Only joking – I’m still in Oman, helping my national team to clean sheets galore, but I didn’t want to rub it in too much, what with all the sun we’re having over here whilst you, my loyal readers, freeze your knackers off in good old wintry Blighty! Anyway, before I plough into another Long Island Ice Tea, here’s my musings from the past few days. See you soon! Ali. x
* Interest rates down again? By jingo – can they reach negative percentages? That’s one to put to Evan Davies the next time you see him – I’d be interested to find out.
* I’ll avoid the painfully obvious quip about Kate Winslet and a couple of mighty fine golden globes and just ask why she went all Gwyneth Paltrow on us in her acceptance speech? You’re British love – thank a few people, make a gag or two, keep your cheeks dry and shuffle off the stage with dignity please.
* I was approached to be a guest on Jonathon Ross’ chat show when it returns to BBC1 in a couple of weeks but I turned it down. I’m washing my hair that night…
* My agent, who also represents Prince Harry, reckons our 3rd-in-line-to-the-throne (the royal throne that is – not my en-suite crapper) has been offered the lead roles in remakes of 70’s sitcom ‘classics’ ‘Love Thy Neighbour’, ‘Curry and Chips’ (playing the Spike Milligan role) and ‘Mind Your Language’.
* A fine appointment by President-elect Mr O’Bama (fancy having an Irishman in the hotseat?) in making The Ultimate Warrior his international wrestling envoy. If that doesn’t bring peace to the middle-east, nothing will.
* Amanda Donohoe joining Emmerdale this week? Let’s hope she’ll be as footloose and fancy free as she was in the film Castaway, also starring the legendary piss pot, pork-swordsman and all-round hero otherwise known as Ollie Reed.
* Keep an eye out for Kevin Davies’ money-saving column, coming soon to a Catflap blog near you. It really is a veritable treasure trove of tip-top advice for these difficult times.