Aston Villa FC

Our reward for beating Litex has been one of the tougher groups, MSK Zilina, Slavia Prague, former European Cup winners Hamburg and one of only three teams to complete the clean sweep of European trophies, Ajax.

When I originally saw the draw, I was hopeful of a little trip to Amsterdam to delight in some of their earthlier pleasures but after an excrutiating wait for the fixtures to be released, our 'Dam dream was over (the bong's gone back in it's box, waiting patiently to see active duty again, while I'm left wondering when I'm ever gonna get that copy of Das Butt) Instead the Stag destination of choice and Hamburg's Reeperbahn are on the Uefa horizon.

While Zilina may be one of Slovakia's most successful clubs, I'm not really sure what kind of gauge that is. They will probably be good technically but I’d imagine we'll be too strong for them at home. And if we're not then we'd certainly struggle against the other, stronger sides. Slavia Prague while not being the more impressive Sparta, do have a decent recent history, playing in the Champs League last season and while no-one likes to travel to the east, I'd be expecting at least a draw from this.

Hamburg could prove to be a difficult task. The AOL Arena may sound like some nerds box-bedroom but this will certainly be the toughest test of the group stages. And despite being managed by Super Intendant Chalmers (who, with hindsight, might actually be a better manager than Ramos) and selling their prized asset in the summer (Rafael Van Der Vaart), they are top of the Bundesliga at present and boast a decent squad list. A point here would almost certainly guarentee knock-out games.

Like maany of the big-namesh in dhis cjup, Ajax seeem to be on the way down and I hjope we'll do dem. I know they've got the peedigree but with only one world classh player, I feel they're exsperience in big competishions will be no matsh for our yjouthful exuberance (what’s the betting we get stuffed?).

Looking at other greatest XIs (scoff, how can they be a greatest without any Villa players?), I’ve noticed that most of them contain a mixture of players they’ve seen play and those from club folk-lore - with one notable exception. Adam Yates, a supporter of perhaps the dullest team to grace the Premier League, has decided to field a team made up of players he’s witnessed in the flesh (http://www.catflapfootball.com/Football-Blogs/Liverpool/CategoryView,category,GreatestXI.aspx).

Well, never one to follow the crowd, I was going to pick a bunch that I never actually saw play the beautiful game, picking players purely on reputation, success and the word of me Grandad. However, that seems like the worst idea since Deadly Doug thought O'Dreary was a competent manager. Instead, I'm gonna follow my heart/copy someone else and go with players from my footballing lifetime. Anyway, we all know football only really began in 1993 with Sky and the Premier League.

Goalkeeper - Nigel Spink

After joining the club some 5 years earlier and playing little more than 90 minutes in the first team, Nigel Phillip Spink, aged only 18, had to come on after only 9 minutes, in the greatest game of all - THE EUROPEAN CUP FINAL. Making an adequate understudy for the injured Rimmer, he also kept a clean sheet against an impressive Bayern Munich. Things don't get much better than that. And for Spinky, they didn't. Apart from a couple of runner-up medals and a Coca-Cola Cup, he would never again reach the heady heights of that night in Rotterdam.

He makes the grade because of this, and despite the fact he ruined my life. As a young boy, looking through my pannini sticker book, I found out that his birthday was the day before mine. Excited that one of my own celebrated that most important of days only 24 hours before me, and intrigued by a position deemed so dangerous they could use their hands, I decided to become a goalkeeper. Little did I know, I'd been condemned to a life of back problems and standing around in the cold. Thanks Nige!

It feels like a historic moment could be upon us today, like those paupers in Paris storming that French institution of tyranny, so we try to storm the Bastille of Stamford Bridge and redress the balance of power and opportunity in English football.


For it is not just glory-hunting cockneys that will be looking at today's result with apprehension and trepidation but also the aristocrat elite of in Manchester, Liverpool and Arsenal(?!), terrified that their life of privilege and dominance may soon come to an end.


Those aspiring revolutionists in the bluer halves of Manchester and Liverpool will also look on with interest, hoping that one of their own can strike a blow for the little man, while raising the prospect of their own prosperity. It shall also be looked upon by every fan of every team currently lying in the shadow of the 'big four', every team who struggles during this famine of glory and trophies.


Or that's what the media would have you think.


I'm more of the impression held by Jesus O'Neill, this game will neither break nor galvanise any challenge on the top four we may or may not have. It's gonna take a mammoth effort by us, along with a relatively bad season by either Liverpool or Arsenal, to crash the Champions League party and although the early signs are looking positive, the season is still in its infancy. Once we've got the crawling and walking with an aide stages out of the way (probably around Christmas), then we can start to speculate how the season may pan out.


At the moment, I'm just hoping the game's as entertaining as last seasons encounter, and that John Terry leaves the field in tears (I could do with another laugh).

1874 – cricketers decide to play a real game. 1888 – invent league football. Dominate - 6 league titles, 6 FA cups. Nothing. 1957 – defeat Busby babes at Wembley (“it’s a fair charge”). Nothing. Deadly Doug (bicycle-kick inventor) brings disaster, leaves and low and behold - Ron Saunders, Tony Barton and Peter Withe’s shin. Deadly returns. Nothing. Paul McGrath (God). First Premiership runners-up. Nothing. Deadly’s redemption; Randy and the second coming. 2008 – party crashing………?

Name: Nick Clarke   
Age: 26
Years supported: For as many as I can remember
First game: Villa 2 Wimbledon 1, 1991
Favourite all time player: It’s too obvious but Paul McGrath
Favourite current player: Marlon Harewood
Worst ever player: The Djemba twins
Fantasy signing: Kaka
Tell us a secret: My all time favourite song is Summertime by Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.
Who's the Daddy: Mick and he lives in Birmingham
Favourite chant: Think it might be too rude
We’ll finish: With a bit of luck, 5th
If your club were a band: The Rolling Stones – they were at the forefront of a revolution but despite being around forever, they have yet to live-up to former glories.