Arsenal FC

Isn’t Jimmy Bullard supposed to be the big joker in this league? Like some kind of unofficial court jester? I think Willy Gallas was aiming to usurp Bullard from his comedy throne because somebody playing that badly must be having a laugh. The goal was his fault because he was so badly caught sleeping he should have been wearing a night shirt. I don’t know how a 6’5” blonde Norwegian can ghost past anyone in the box, but Willy managed it.

This sort of summed up the first half and the attitude of the team all the way through it, except maybe for Adebayor who hit the post with a powerful header after he jumped about 15ft in the air. Ade’s performance was one plus after his dross against West Brom, at least he put in some effort.

Denilson is in real danger of becoming a laughing stock after he faded awfully again as the game went on. In the last half hour an incontinent pensioner could retain water better than he could retain possession. Mr Wenger felt that his little prank of playing Eboue in centre mid needed a little bit more time for us to really appreciate it and the Ivory Coaster obliged by not making a single tackle in the middle of the park and shooting high and wide a couple of times.

I didn’t know that RVP had taken up the policy of trying hurt opposition fans behind the goal when taking free kicks. I always thought he was quite good at them but he did his best to dissuade me here.

The worst thing about being outplayed by Jimmy Bullard and Danny Murphy was that we didn’t get to see Roy Hogdson mumble about not knowing why the team didn’t defend well or convert chances and generally look like a little old man who has forgotten where he lives.